Friday, July 8, 2016

How To Handle an Unfaithful Partner.

Aunty Amara good day ma, it is such an honour to write to you and I believe you will give me the right advice void of sentiments. .
I have a baby with my man and I love them both dearly, the challenge is, my man and I are always having issues. He is so proud and expects a woman to only talk when asked and to always do what she is being told.. He likes to spend long hours out and I know he cheats but he will never agree to it.. He never sees the need to address issues and will rather walk away and pretend all is well.. He never gets angry and jokes about serious issues.. When I insist we talk things over, he tells me I can't control him, even if I cry he turns a blind eyes and will never apologise. .
These things get me so frustrated and I verbally abuse him just to get back at him but still he shows no anger, he pays no attention to my emotional needs and his excuse is he isn't the romantic type... He says he doesn't get angry with me cos his feelings for me won't let him but aunty I feel it is only because he doesn't want to change that's why he laughs everything over...
I love him and want things to work as we plan to settle down at the end of this year.. How do I handle a man with such character if we are always arguing even when we don't live together? Please advice me as I want to build a healthy home with him.

You make this counselling pretty difficult for me, however I will still run my analysis on your mail, highlight the dangerous red flags that have the potential to destroy both everything you are building with him, and then allow you to decide the best option for you.
Having a child for a man is never and will never be a criteria for marriage. So always have it at the back of your mind that both of you can decide to take good care of your child and still go your separate ways.
He's so proud and domineering and this is why your opinion doesn't count nor will he allow you to express yourself without his permission as a man and the head of the house. It may look harmless now but overtime attitudes like this snowballs to physical abuse if you fail to keep his rules and regulations.
He spends long hours with his friends and dates which suggests that you are not his friend and he may not fancy spending quality time with you or consider your emotions concerning his late nights.
As a result of keeping late nights, cheating won't be far away from him. Now you are aware that an unfaithful partner is dangerous both to his wife and his children, one of the most painful and devastating challenges of every partner is infidelity. You won't say that you are ignorant of this but I guess you really love him so much.
He doesn't communicate with you because that is controlling him and monitoring his movements. You are aware that without communication, there's no trust, no communion, and no friendship, but I guess you are happy with that.
The most painful of them all is your desire to change him. I won't discourage you from giving it a shot but I am hopeful that you will be alive to testify.
If after seeing all these challenges you still wish to make this marriage a reality, there's no problem at all.
These tips will help you enjoy your relationship with him.
  • Pray fervently for him and remember that with God nothing is too hard for him to do.
  • Avoid attacking him or verbally abusing him because doing so may trigger his ego, and one day he won't just smile and walk away but he may smile and beat you.
  • Please do not complain about anything or everything. Remember that complaining about what you already know is baseless and will yield no results. Though you may be tempted to complain, please channel your energy to prayers and avoid complaining.
  • Prepare yourself to accept him and open your heart to love his imperfect perfection, be patient with him and remember that he's a work in progress and will take some time to become the kind of man that you desire.
I am hopeful that these tips will greatly help you to manage his weaknesses and enjoy your marriage with him


  1. If u like, don't move on with ur life. 2 months after wedding, u'll start disturbing aunty amara

  2. Y see all this sign and still planing. To settle with him?


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