Saturday, July 9, 2016

Nine Months Later, I Still Feel Hurt.

Good evening aunty. May the lord keep empowering you to continue the good work you do here. I'm writing you with a heavy heart... Sometimes my heart literally aches.
I can't get over my last relationship, it ended on cheating notes. I found out he was cheating and confronted him and all he could say was thank God he never touched me because we were apart the whole time.
Even though we weren't together and never saw for almost three years of this relationship, I loved him with all my heart and I never cheated on him. I turned down everyone who tried to talk to me about relationships or marriage all through the period we were together. I thought he would be my last and gave my all into loving him. Even though he eventually asked that we should come back together and I said no because I only feel hurt by his actions and not loved anymore.
I've forgiven him for my own good but I still feel very hurt and worst of all I can't seem to get it right with any other guy. Every guy that approaches me says I need to let go and loosen up, next thing they run away. I use to be a very happy and cheerful person but not anymore. The whole thing affected me so much..
It's nine months since it happened but I still feel so hurt. How do I get over this guy and everything that happened and move on with my life?

Though nobody wishes to venture into a relationship and end up heartbroken but you must understand that some relationships are like a grooming ground for your marriage and your family in the future. Some relationships cannot end in marriage because great relationships and marriage is not established on fantasies, romance and wishes but on virtues and attitudes that will help both of you succeed in your marriage.
In a situation where you are attracted to a man who doesn't share these virtues and values that you crave for in him, there is no way you will be happy with him even if you decide to marry him.
Majority of marriages crash at the alter of infidelity but God in his infinite mercies redeemed you from what you thought was the best for yourself, but you have succeeded in making him an idol in your life.
Imagine that you were married to him and you caught him having sex with another lady, what would you have done? You are crying and regretting the time that you invested, forgetting that eternity in a miserable marriage is a good description of hell on earth.
Do you feel that God really hates you for not allowing you to marry him? That's not possible and I don't think that you should give up on yourself because of a failed relationship.
It's okay to feel bad, but entirely unhealthy to hold unto a failed relationship because there is no way you can move forward when you are constantly looking back.
Choose from the depth of your heart to forgive him and forgive yourself for trusting in him so much that you forgot that as human he can fail but God never fails.
Accept his decision and don't use it to judge or criticise yourself because doing so won't help you heal and move on with your life.
Stop counting the years that you invested in the relationship and thank God for delivering you from what would have been a turbulent marriage.
Look unto God and open your heart to love and happiness. Deliberately decide within your heart not to allow your ex to keep you hostage and frustrate your life and destiny.
Always remember that if you end up scaring all men away because of a failed relationship, you will end up single and unhappy while your ex will be happily married with his family.
Sincerely I don't pray or hope that such will be your experience which is why it is very important for you to move on and accept his decision as his decision.
God is still faithful and he has already prepared a man who will love you in a manner that will leave you feeling fulfilled and happy in life.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)