Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Should I Consider Him?

Good evening Aunty, thanks for your good works in my life, you are truly a counsellor our generation will always be proud of. This is the story of my life though it's lengthy but I will try and make it short because I really need you to advice me on which step to take in life.
It all happened some years back during my university days, I had a friend who was caring and loving he was very serious with me. He took me to his parents and then fixed a date that they will come to my family, but all of a sudden he stopped calling or taking my calls.. I was so worried that I kept calling, then one day he finally texted me that he was no longer interested in the relationship..
After two days he called and said I should move on with my life, I asked him what I did wrong for him to call off the relationship, he told me I didn't do anything wrong. Aunty I cried that day like never before. I couldn't concentrate on my studies anymore but I thank God that I was able to write my semester exams and pass.
Three months after the incidence he got married to another lady and a week after his wedding he texted me that he was so sorry for hurting me that much back then. He also said he discovered that all what he was told about me were lies and that I should be very careful with my girlfriends. I acted accordingly as he advised and cut off from all my girlfriends except one that was like a sister to me.
I cried that year but tried and picked up the pieces of my life and moved on. I turned down every guy that came my way that period. Two years after the incidence I met a guy, we were together for about three years, then he came with his people to my family for introduction, we got engaged.
After about a month his attitude towards me changed, he accused me of dating guys and all other things which were not true, God being me witness. Then he stopped picking my calls, I was depressed so I had to pay my way to Bayelsa where he was to sought things out with him but on getting there I saw him in bed with my girlfriend, (my best friend, the girl I took as a sister, the very girl I took as my blood).
He wasn't surprise to see me, he stood up and told me it was my friend that was telling him about me, that she is the one he loves now. I told him in tears that my God will fight my battle for me, that I was innocent of the charges my friend levied against me...
I never knew when I fainted.. I only woke up on the hospital bed. When I finally regained consciousness I stood up and travelled back to my state.. I was crying throughout the journey.. I narrated to my people and they consoled me that a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. It wasn't easy for me that period but God finally healed my wounds. Then last year April i.e( a year and five months) since the incidence took place, I was close to a guy which I wrote to you about in my last message and it didn't work out fine and we broke up.
Right now a guy is close to me and we are just friends, he is not from my tribe but according to him, he says he loves me and wants us to be in love, that it's been up to four years since he last had a relationship, and also from his conversation he doesn't seem like someone that will settle down in the next couple of years..
Whenever I ask questions on that he keeps avoiding and most times he says it's God that will decide. Aunty should I consider him? I have been through a lot in life and I don't know whether to still believe in love or not.. Mine has been a terrible experience, did God really design this for me?? Aunty please tell me what to do next please because I trust your judgement.

Sometimes God can allow us to experience life on our own so that we can appreciate his wisdom and grace in his word. Sometimes he uses the painful experiences of life to lead us to his purpose for our lives.
It's never easy or sweet but they equip us with wisdom that cannot be gotten from books or opinions of men. Trusting men is one of the errors that can destroy your destiny and purpose in life.
Painfully there are so many individuals who have lost their inheritance in life as a result of the so called 'best friends' that they surrounded themselves with. I believe that this was the reason why God said that the heart of man is extremely wicked and no man can discern it.
You need to be more careful with the kind of friends you associate yourself with so that you don't end up keeping friends whose purpose is to destroy your life and paint you evil to others.
Any man who doesn't have a clear cut relationship vision and purpose for 'loving you' shouldn't really be in a relationship with a lady who desires a committed relationship. There are some individuals that specialises in wasting the time of their partner.
They're never convinced so you hear something like... I'm not sure what God is saying about us
They're never responsible for anything so you hear something like... I'm not sure if you are God's will, or God hasn't given me approval to marry you.
They don't have any vision for the relationship so you will hear something like... I love you but I'm not sure when I will settle down.
And because most of them are there for sex and nothing more, you will hear something like... You know that I love you so much, just be patient with me, very soon.. Lol
If he wanted God to decide, he shouldn't have come confessing how much he loved you but should have waited until he has confirmed from God that you are the one before reaching out to you.
I will suggest that you move on with your life and trust God for a man who is emotionally available and spiritually prepared for a purposeful relationship.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Post, Just like aunty Amara had advised. Don't worry Just give yourself sometime and that love and emotions you desire will come. I am a living testimony. My experience made me stronger and more knowledgeable.


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)