Thursday, July 14, 2016

Should I Talk to His Mum to Plead for my Sake?

Good evening ma, thanks for your good work, may the lord bless you richly. Am 26 and my hubby is 40, I met my mother-in-law last year in a hospital and she told me she wanted me to meet and marry her son that stays abroad. Her son came back last Christmas, we met, talked and agreed to marry and we are from the same L .G. A.
When he came for Introduction, my uncle said we are related but he can not explain the relationship, but our generation has passed that one. I don't know if is because his great grand parents built the the three old upstairs in my compound in those days. So we got married traditionally, preparing for the white wedding this Christmas, he has even bought the wedding gown and the ashoebi clothes over there.
But a week to the traditional marriage my mum called him and asked him where I would be staying till I finally move in with him over there to avoid family members gossip and wahala, he said that any where I want to stay that am allowed.
A month after our traditional marriage, he ordered me to move to the family house which I did and my mum was not happy about it. Sometimes I go to the village to stay with my mother-in-law to help her with some house work and we were fine. Not until farming season came, the siblings I stay with in the family house in town now wants me to be farming with mother-in-law in the village since I have not gotten a job after my NYSC.
But I have a mobile make-up and jewelries business am doing in town, I told them that this farming idea cannot work because am not used to such life, and anytime they carry me to that their ugwu(mountain) land I will just be crying inside there because I cannot climb out. If I go to farm with them on level ground, we will not go home till 7.30pm even if is in (abakalike)yet is in Imo state.
So I told them I will not go there again so the wahala and gossip my mum was afraid of started. They began to tell my hubby all sorts of horrible things about me, that am lazy, am bad, that I wear indecent clothes and all that. They now had a family meeting that they will use that relation of a thing to send me out which they did.
My king and family invited them, they refused to come, my hubby called me and said that since they said we are related that he is wishing me well, and that I should invite him for my wedding and child dedication. So after praying over everything God revealed to me that the family planned everything because truly we are not related in anyway. I began to beg my hubby for over a month now but he refused to reply me nor pick my calls. I don't know if I should talk to his mum and siblings to beg because respects them a lot.

Are you sure that you are really in love with your best friend and companion or you are in love with his place of residence and affluence. From the little experience that you narrated in your mail, I have no idea what you are attracted to in this man and why you feel that you cannot succeed without him. 
Your partner is a baby boy who can't make any decision on his own, both of you doesn't share any form of friendship and companionship as a couple, and you seem like a slave that he has acquired with his money to help his mother. 
Who did you get married to? What's his vision and purpose in life and in marriage? Do you know if he's married where he's staying? Do you know if his mother recommended you so that he can have Nigerian babies? Why does it feel as though you are in this without even understanding who you are and what you deserve? Are you sure that he is really what you need?
Well I'm asking all these questions to awaken your conscience and help you make a better decision on this. 
Since you decided to stay with his family and assist his mother, courtesy demands that you respect them and support them in your own little way. Because disagreeing with your mother-in-law is like disrespecting your own husband, besides she was the one who recommended you to him and as such you owe her all the loyalty and gratitude for landing an abroad man. 
If you feel that begging your mother-in-law will change the heart and the decision of your husband, kindly go ahead and plead with her, and please be prepared for more pleading and begging. Also always remember to do all they say that you should do for that's the only way to avoid gossips and their wahala, even if it's against your personal convictions. 
However, when you realise that you cannot cope with the terms and conditions of having this great man in your life, please use the door and return the dowry to them so that you can move on with your life. 
I know that you truly love him and I also pray that God will make everything to work out in your favour.


  1. but are you to beg him for all disagreement in your marriage for the rest of your life,
    am sure you don't really know what marriage entails you are just in love with his state of residence,
    please go back home and re plan yourself

  2. Hmm mm just to answer married woman pls come out from Dat marriage n plan your life


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