Saturday, July 16, 2016

The Pressure He's Putting on me is Too Much.

Good evening ma, may God Almighty keep blessing you and your family for your good job. Aunty am so much in pains right now, I have not eating for past three days now with sleepless nights. The only man I love gave my heart, body, and dated for two years, got married last month even when he promised me marriage.
He was in my village last year December to see my parents, after he told me he wanted me to get pregnant for him first before paying my bride prize. Aunty I accepted but he didn't have sex with me, he travelled back to America. I didn't tell him anything about it. Aunty last month this my guy called and told me he is coming back to Nigeria, that I should get ready to get pregnant and I should do HIV test and others.
I accepted, I did every thing so on 6th of last month he told me he will be in Ph so that we can travel together to village cos on 9th was burial ceremony of my uncle. I told him that I want to travel on 7th so that I can help out. He called me on 9th, told me he is in the village(his family house), we kept talking on phone.
He told me that he wanted to come to the house to see my parents, I told him to come but he never did. He called me on the 9th to come to the hotel, I told him I can't that I want to come to his house to see his people and he ended the call and switched off his phone.
At the end of last month I called him, he told me he have travelled back that he want me to come and visit him over there, I told him am not coming cos I was angry with him cos of what he did when he was in Nigeria.
Aunty on 26th of last month, I saw one number on my phone saved with a friend so I called the number to know who the person is cos I wanted to delete it and I found out that it was my boyfriend's friend. They came together to see me in the village but I didn't see them cos I was busy, and my guy told me to help and get a good girl for that his friend for marriage. The guy called my name and said baby am so sorry for what my friend did to a nice girl like you. I asked him why he is saying all this, he told me that my boyfriend got married on 11th of last month and the girl is pregnant for him and he sent their wedding pictures to me.
Aunty I was hospitalized for four days, his friend sent a text to me that day that he want to marry me, that he told God that Sunday that any girl that will call him on phone that Sunday will be his wife. His best friend called me like everyday, he talked with my mum and all his sisters do call me on phone but I have not seen this guy face to face, he base in Lagos.
He told me to come and see him and he will like to get me pregnant before our wedding.
He has fixed date for our wedding and he has not see me face to face, then he told me he is poor, ugly and he said he is just a bus driver in Lagos but I know he is lying to me cos he used to travel out of the country to see my ex boyfriend.
Aunty am so confused, I don't want to make another mistake that his friend is not the kind of man I want, he is ugly and he talks too much but he said he loves me. He is 38 years while am 26 years. The pressure he is putting on me is too much, he doesn't even want us to date so that we can know each other well, all he cares about is marriage, pregnancy and he is my ex boyfriend's best friend and I still love my ex.
Aunty can you believe my ex have not asked me for forgiveness after hurting me. All he told me is I have known the truth and so, with the pains in my heart I said many things to him.
Please my people advice me, am so confused right now and I will be travelling to see him next week weekend, I want my marriage to last I don't want to stop on the road thanks.

I am so sorry for what you went through in the hands of the fraudster you called a boyfriend.
You need to realise that you are not a commodity to be exploited and toiled with by any man simply because he has money or he has a green card.
I feel so pained that you allowed your greed to get a better part of you and if you don't cut off from this rubbish you call relationship, you may end up with regrets.
Any man who wants to impregnate you before paying your bride prize is a fraud and shouldn't be taken serious as far as relationship or marriage is concerned.
Secondly, don't allow desperation to get a better part of you. Marriage is not a football match that lasts for ninety minutes or at worst one hundred and twenty minutes. It's not a flight that lasts for few hours rather it is a lifetime journey. Lifetime I repeat and what that means is that you need to carry out your own investigations, know what you want, know what you can cope with, find out his limitations and ask all the necessary questions to avoid entering inside an open pit on a broad day light.
Some men have deceived some ladies into drug courier and some have been reduced to prostitutes that they maximise in the hotel and discharge like a trash.
You are too beautiful and too young for this rubbish. When God spoke to Abraham, he left his abode to the land of promise, when God spoke to men in the Bible, they left their comfort zone to meet their miracles, how come your ex's best friend heard from God and you are preparing to travel to Lagos to see him? Are you alright?
Have you examined the security implications of this risk? What's the guarantee that after meeting with him, that he will marry you? What assurance do you have that he's truly single? What if he ends up getting you pregnant and then dumping you for another lady, will you be prepared to cater for your baby? And what will happen if this man comes to your area to meet you? What made you feel that this man is really different from his friend or don't you think that they both planned it before he dumped you for the other lady?
Please wake up, stop this madness because it's disgusting and annoying. It's not love, it's foolishness and you deserve better than this.
Forgive me if my words are harsh, it was deliberate because I am pained by your experience and your ignorance too. If you don't see any value in yourself, marriage won't add any value to your life. If you don't appreciate yourself, no man will appreciate you but they will use your vagina and discard you for another lady.
Please even if you don't have any suitors, please engage yourself in something productive, add value to life and solve the problems around you. Sometimes God opens doors of favour when we decide to add value to those around us.
I hope that you will wake up from this slumber because it's not good for you at all.


  1. Aunty Amara hv said it exactly. D same way i wanted to. Say it. If u were my sister i wud hv slapped u to wake u up from ur slumber. For all i know ur ex dnt love. U at all and even ds ur ex dnt even love u. What has he been doing wt all d girls in lagos dat he cant pick one of dem to marry. My dear poster wake up pls. B4 somebody will rubbish u. I advice u dnt go to dat lagos. To see. Him. I rest my case.

  2. Can I tell you the truth as a man? The man in question is not married all he did is well arranged to know the real you. Though you have failed to some extent but i want you to call the youngman, tell him that you still love his friend and is yet to recover from the shock. Let him know that even if you are to accept any man soon it WILL NOT be him. Call your guy after few weeks if he doesn't call to congratulate you and i bet you you will have him back. Please write us back to inform us that it worked.

  3. Are you serious about travelling to Lagos to go get pregnant? Really? To someone you don't know? Hello? Who does that? Like seriously?

    Even if you know the person, must you get pregnant before he marries you? And we are not even sure he'll marry you even after getting you pregnant. Just 'wisen' up a bit and don't let men use you all because you want to get married at all cost. You're more precious than what they want to reduce you to.
    You're not cheap, you're not desperate, so make them see that.

    Why should you be the one to travel all the way to Lagos to see this man? Are you not scared of what will happen to you when you finally fall into the hands of this man? You're just busy taking up risks that are very unnecessary.

    Aunty Amara please call this young girl on phone and advice her real good. Her life might just be at risk and she doesn't know that.

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