Friday, August 19, 2016

Did He Say All that to Lure me to Marry Him?

Aunty Amara, God bless you real good. Please my story is a bit complicated but let me start like this.
I dated two different men from my church (Winners) and both never ended well, in fact both gave me days of depression but I overcame at the end.
Now there's this young man who is very serious and eager to marry me but the problem is he's from another church (Catholic) (most of our members are not allowed to marry from this church).
I narrated everything to him and we parted ways for some days, only for him to call me after few days and told me he has decided to join my church and also wed me in my church.
Now my fear is, what if he said all that to lure me into the marriage. I've been reading about men changing after wedding and am very scared to go into this marriage, reason being that it may be out of deception though he agreed to sign any document I present to him about the issue.
Please ma what do I do?? Help a confused soul.

The first thing you need to do for yourself is to remove the cloak of your church and allow the word of God to bear fruit in your life so that you don't make decision about your marriage based on what your church said but based on the word of God. 
All I saw from your mail is church and church, perhaps because that's what's most important to you but the reality is that you won't be dealing with a church in your marriage but the personality, character, vision, perception, and maturity of your husband for the rest of your life. 
Have you taken your time to understand his personality and vision as a man? Does he have the attributes and values that you need in your husband? These supersedes whatever the church says about another church. 
Now coming to spiritual compatibility, please do not marry a partner who doesn't share the same spiritual convictions and vision with you, it's actually a recipe for disaster. Please do not marry an individual whose spiritual leadership you cannot submit to because it will affect every other aspect of your marriage. Make sure that both of you have a mutual understanding and agreement regarding where both of you wish to worship after wedding and where your children will worship. 
Looking critically at your partner, I feel that he agreed to your terms on a wrong foundation. Not necessarily because he believes in your spiritual convictions but because he doesn't want to lose you and as a result is willing to do anything possible to get you in his web. 
The problem with this decision is that after wedding, when he now have the authority over you, things may no longer be as it was in the beginning. 
To avoid such from happening, there is a a need for your family and his family to be part of this agreement so that he won't wake up someday after wedding to persuade you into going to his church or tag you a rebellious wife for refusing to go to his own church. 
Again, you may need to give him some time to understand the foundation of your spiritual convictions so that both of you will build your marriage on one foundation and conviction. 
Remember to seek the face of God and be convinced of what you really need before getting married to a man. Spiritual compatibility is one of the most sensitive part of every marriage and if both of you share the same convictions, there's no challenge of life that both of you cannot overcome. 


  1. Am sorry to say this young lady but I don't tolerate it when people say all manner of things because they are on social media. You can't just come on air and start telling lies that have no basis as a result trying to tarnish the image of a particular denomination. Please hear me and hear me well. YOU ARE NOT A WINNERS MEMBER. If you have been a bench warmer then get serious, there is never a time winners are prohibited from getting married from any church and funny enough am a winners member and about to get married and my spouse is a catholic. Please if you know you love this young man and want to settle down with him then go ahead and stop giving excuses that are baseless and more so, your being a winners member does not make you holier than your spouse

    1. God bless you. People lie alot just to create a useless impression.

  2. Innocent just spoke my mind ... Winner's don't discriminate against any believing church... Like Innocent rightly said, she is a bench warmer.

    1. She's probably a visitor in the church because Winners never discriminate. She's lying. Come to think of it, she's the bride meaning the groom would even have to Wed in her church and not her going there. She's not a genuine member of Winners Chapel.

    2. Thank you guys for your answer, one thing I have noticed is how people come to social media to lie and present themselves as helpless victims just to get sympathy.


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