Thursday, August 4, 2016

He Doesn't Communicate with me When He's Angry or We Have a Misunderstanding.

Dear Aunty Amara,
God bless you and increase your wisdom on this great job you are doing. Please I need your advise urgently on this issue bordering my mind at the moment, cos I've not been able to sleep well or concentrate on anything for these few days.
I have a fiancé that I love so much and he loves me too. He's everything I need in a man, except for his attitude of not picking up his phone when he's angry or when we have a misunderstanding.

We've discussed this issue severally and I've told him how bad and hurt I feel each time he refuses to pick up my calls. I feel he disrespects me by doing that but he keeps repeating it. Please how else do I confront this attitude? Because we're preparing for our wedding by God's grace in few months time. But he's getting me worried and scared.
Just last Friday evening, we spoke on phone and ended the conversation normally without any issues, only for me to call him the next day and he refused to pick the call. I've sent text messages to know what the issue is, but till now he has neither picked nor replied.
I asked a friend to use an unknown number to call him and he picked. When she asked what the issue is cos he's making me worried, he said nothing. We live in separate states. Please what do you advise me to do?

First, don't sweep this sensitive attitude of his under the carpet simply because he has proposed marriage to you and you're looking forward to adding 'Mrs' tag to your name when you can't communicate with him.
You need to understand the implications of his attitude to you and why you should address this before getting married to him so that this doesn't escalate to physical or emotional abuse.
This attitude is a good example of a man who has the tendency to manipulate you emotionally using silence and anger as a weapon. He's also exhibiting the attributes of a man with an unforgiving spirit and a man who has the tendency to keep malice for a long period of time.
Malice is actually a very dangerous weapon that has the capacity to crush every atom of affection or peace that couples enjoy in their marriage. Malice and unforgiving spirit can make an individual become violent and do things that may crush the emotions and the esteem of his or her partner.
For individuals who have such tendencies, they need counselling to help them understand their weaknesses and their emotions, and give suggestions on how best to get results without destroying the relationship or marriage.
So I will encourage you to consider scheduling a counselling session with him so that both of you can work on the things that trigger his anger or malice and give him some tips that will help him overcome this habit.
A man who can keep to himself for five good days without talking to his partner is not emotionally mature for marriage because it's an indication that he will find it extremely difficult to accommodate the weaknesses of his wife or to forgive his wife when she offends him.
So don't take it lightly or ignore it because it maybe difficult for you to cope with him after wedding, when the romantic phase of your relationship fades off for the realities of his personality.


  1. i rily understand how you feel. i passed through it in my last relationship and i can say that it is emotional abuse. the dude is trying to manipulate u and destroy every bit of self esteem you still have

  2. i rily understand how you feel. i passed through it in my last relationship and i can say that it is emotional abuse. the dude is trying to manipulate u and destroy every bit of self esteem you still have

  3. My dear don't marry this guy now cuz it gonna get worst when u both married.
    Cancel all marriage preparation for now and tell him the reason y u can't continue with him. After counselling wait for another 6-1yr to watch his character.else plz walk away,communication will be hard in this kind of marriage and that the basic solution in all marriage

  4. i dont know if u will take ds advise but im giving it out of experience bcos dat is wat i am facing husband was like dat bfr we got married but i was blinded by love and tot he wud change,ds is 3yrs nw we got married and he has only gotten worse ........if he gets annoyed he doent talk to mi or eat my food nd yes he forcefully has sex wit mi n tell mi ds is how he feels wen i annoy him........pls if u wud listen,dnt go ahead wit such a man,dey rarely change for d better only for d worse....i wish i had sum1 to tell mi dis 3yrs ago. goodluck.


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)