Wednesday, August 17, 2016

I Want to Quit Marriage but am Heavy.

Good day ma! I got married January 2014 and after the wedding I found out that my husband had a woman and a son abroad and when I confronted him, he didn't deny it, he told me that there's nothing between them again and I asked him if it is possible to bring the baby back, he said that it is not possible and he doesn't want the boy that he did it just for papers,
and when he came back I noticed he still talked with the woman and when I ask, he said he is talking to the boy that is because of papers but he will always send messages to the lady calling her my love and that time am already pregnant, and he went back promising that he is coming back finally, and I waited for him till after my delivery, yet he didn't come.
He came back after seven months I gave birth, and it is even my brother that gave him money to come back cos he was claiming he is doing nothing over there and he said he is coming back finally and when he came back, I still noticed that he still talked with the woman and still addressed her as my love in text messages, and every night he won't allow me to sleep, he will fuck me like there is no tomorrow and I took in, I did everything to evacuate the baby, no way and I went to hospital where I gave birth and he told the doctor that it is me that wants to abort the pregnancy and doctor said it is not an agreement that I should go home and I had many miscarriages before I gave birth to my son.
So doctor reminded me and told me that I don't know if it is God's will, so I forgot everything about abortion. Later one day he told me he wanted to go and change his travelling date, and I asked him what for, he said that he will go back to collect his things there, plenty story again. So I seized his passport and carried my child to my brother's house and he came with his people and said he wants to go and collect his things and they agreed that before he goes, he would provide everything necessary for me and baby, and even start something for me as well cos the brother is owing him a lot of money which the problem has started before I came, he agreed and later travelled to east and came back without knowing that they went to sell land, and he came back with the money and squandered it.
I noticed what he was doing and looked for his passport but he has taken it away from the house and the day he was supposed to travel, he went to buy shoes, clothes even small bag guys use to carry by the side and when he gave me his ATM, what was remaining there was N87,000 and there is no rice in the house, no baby food, no baby milk, no diaper, our gas has finished, nothing nothing and he left and the worst part was that he was owing a lot of people that if am going on the road, someone will call me that my husband is owing him, and meanwhile electricity bill is here, security bill is here, and all those while I gave birth to my first child.
I have been with my parent till he came back and he didn't contribute anything and he couldn't thank them, even my sister I was in her house in Lagos before giving birth, he didn't say thank you, even my cousin that came to help me in Lagos before we went to meet my parent in the east, no thank you and now am six months gone, nothing nothing, he doesn't call us cos I told him that we have nothing left, we don't talk about myself again, in terms of taking care of myself like cream, powder, soap etc he has not called us and we have nothing to hold on to.
Aunty Amara, am very confused, that I don't know what to do, I want to leave the marriage, but am heavy, have a son, what do I do? I don't know how to start life all over again but I really want to leave the marriage, please advice me...

I will suggest that you return back home and inform your family of your challenges so that they will at least support you and your son while you prepare for the arrival of your baby.
When you have put to bed, we will then talk about the future of your marriage.
I personally can't tell exactly whether you're married or just his Nigerian extension of the family tree.
From your mail, it's obvious that he deceived you and never told you the whole truth about his marital status.
Well, let's not dig deeper than is necessary, gather yourself together and focus on your health, your pregnancy and your son.
I pray that God will provide all you need to take care of yourself at this critical point of your life, and grant you safe delivery when you're due.

1 comment:

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