Saturday, September 10, 2016

How Do I Smoothen Everything With Two Ladies And Their Parents?

Hello Amara...
Would like to share some piece of my mind with you and pray you understand.
I have been living a life that has been unsatisfying for me. I used to date a girl called M***, I met her online and she told me she likes me and would want to have a chat with me, I said okay. She started telling me about her past life with men and all. She said she just needed someone that would come to love her without sex,
and I asked her if she have ever been in a distance relationship, she said no. I said okay maybe she should try me and see if she can stay with a guy who is far from her so she won't be able to have sex. But before she agreed I told her in the process not to fall in love with me. She said okay. But after a year, she started to fall in love, and I noticed it but never had interest.
Then two years later I met another girl that I love and I started getting serious with this new girl while am still with the other, but to me I was not dating her, to me I just wanted her to be happy. But she started loving me so much, and she invited me to her place. For the first time I saw her but she has completely fallen in love with me. In the end I get to love her but not as the other girl I met in school. We had sex and she was pregnant but never knew. And I also had sex with the one I met in school and she also got pregnant and those both delivered this year a boy and a girl
Don't know what to do to smoothen everything with both of them and their parents.
The one I met myself is the one am with and the other one is in Jos with my daughter.

I am tempted to believe your explanations but I will tell you the simple truth not necessarily for you but perhaps for other men who are currently browsing through different girls in different cities. 
I want to believe that you had good intentions for M**, you wanted to let her know that there is an angel in you without a penis to devour her. 
According to you, you informed her never to fall in love with you but to just try and be friends with you. 
Truth is, this lady was looking for a man to love and not a man to show her how to be friends. If you knew that you were not emotionally prepared to love her, you shouldn't have made yourself available for friendship with her. 
Again, one of the easiest way to drag a lady into loving you is by giving her enough attention and affection. Your body language gave her both, and she fell in love with you. 
Now knowing that you never wanted to have anything intimate with her, you ought to have helped her by limiting your communication with her but I guess you were enjoying the ride. 
You were in a relationship with another lady and decided to honour her invitation by visiting her in her room, not a restaurant or any other open place. Bro, I wish I could believe that you were honest but your actions betrayed your intentions. 
Now that you're here, though cannot marry both of them which is why I feel that you sent your mail to me, you can still identity with your children and take good care of them. 
All you need to do is visit the family of the lady in Jos and accept the responsibility for her child, then let the family know that you do not intend to marry her but will take the responsibility for your daughter. Remember to embark on this journey with your family and elders so that you will be received and respected by her family. 
They may not be happy with your decision but you have to stand up and be as honest and sincere as you can. 
That will at least give you the room to decide who to spend the rest of your life with and plan how to meet up with your responsibilities to your children.
After meeting with the family of the first lady, you can then plan with the lady that had a son for you (that is if she's the one that you wish to marry) and you will then meet with her parents, accept the responsibility for her baby and declare your intentions to them. 
That a lady had a child for you is not a criteria for you to marry her, so don't be under pressure to marry any lady but marry the lady that you are comfortable with, and a lady that you believe will support you and help you succeed in all your endeavours.
I don't know what you do but I must encourage you to work hard enough to cater for your children because that's your utmost priority and responsibility as a man. It may not be easy or rosy for you but you can manage it with wisdom and enjoy your children in the future.

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