Friday, September 9, 2016

I Regret Why I Got Married!

Good day sister. More grease to your elbow. Hmmmm where do I start from? My story is very long but I will try and make it short. Really am fade up and right now I don't mind quitting. How can I continue to pray for a man that hurts me over and over again.
Have been married since 2012 with two lovely kids a boy and girl, and they are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
My hubby is a chronic cheat. Our relationship was a distant one, before we got married he was staying in the north while I was in the east. I got to know the kind of person he really is when I married him.
Starting from the very first day I married him it's been wahala, at first it was verbal and physical abuse even when I was pregnant, until I threatened him with a knife before he stopped, then he went into emotional abuse. He cheat as if he changes diapers with married women and single ladies.
Do you know that for the past one year we have not had sex? Though we haven't been to together cos of his job but he visits and spends two weeks and I also visit him when the kids are on break whether short or long break. If I complain he uses the kids as an excuse but within this past one year he has slept with nothing less than five girls. I keep wondering, is it because my boobs are no longer standing or my tummy is no longer flat as before (which am still working on).
The worst part is that he is the last person to discuss any issue we have, if I bring it up he increases the television or concentrates on his phone. I was very happy that they have posted him back to Lagos.
The recent one that made me very angry is that I saw a chat with one of his friend where they went to fuck prostitutes, this happened on Wednesday. It really got me heartbroken. I cried to God that night and asked him where I went wrong, what I did to deserve this kind of man, if it will be like this forever. Right now I feel like quitting cos God knows am tired of this so called marriage. I keep regretting why I got married.
His close friends has talked to him about his behaviour, instead of him to take correction he will stop talking to them. December 2014, I gave him his ring and walked out of the marriage, it took almost his whole kindred and mine to bring us back. He is really not in talking terms with his people, he hardly pick their calls.
Am really fed up, please I need your candid advice and that of the group. Thanks.

I feel that you need to return back to your family and let them know what you're experiencing in your marriage. Then your family will inform his family and then schedule for a reconciliation meeting. Seems that's the only way to get him to work on your marriage and discuss with you. 
Seems like you were married to an authority without any form of companionship, and if you don't involve his family, he may not do anything about it. 
A marriage that is devoid of sexual intimacy for one year is already a prison yard and it's not safe for your mind and body. 
Please don't embrace depression and anxiety because it won't help you resolve this mess.
It's safer to work on your marriage by involving both families than to continue to endure the horrible pains and emotional torture of his attitude towards you. 
Sleeping with prostitutes at the detriment of your marriage is really heartbreaking, and it has nothing to do with your body. Perhaps his nature of job and influence from friends may have pushed him into this lifestyle.
When you can't find your foot in your marriage and it seems as though you're being consumed by the woes and challenges of your marriage, please take a break to enable you regain your strength and equip yourself with all the wisdom that you need to make your marriage prosper. 
I only hope that he doesn't continue with his lifestyle because it is very dangerous to your marriage and your health in particular. 
In addition, please endeavour to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections or insist on getting a HIV /AIDS test result, when this has been resolved.

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