Thursday, September 29, 2016

Not Comfortable With Showing My Vagina To Him.

Dear Aunty Amara please I need your advice on this issue.
My cousin sister connected me to a classmate of hers who is based in Sweden for a relationship that could lead to marriage. We chat on Imo and WhatsApp since the beginning of September that we started communication.

Just yesterday he told me during our video chat that I should show him by breast which I did and he equally showed me his manhood but when I refused to show him my vagina he became upset and told me that I have done my worst.
Am not comfortable with the idea of showing our privates parts and my conscience pricks me. He will be coming home December and will like to meet my mum.
How do I handle this without losing him. Am 30 and his 37

You started communicating with him in the beginning of the month and twenty eight days after your breast is already on display for him. 
I'm not against you revealing anything you wish to for him to know that you are a hot babe, but I'm worried why the desperation to satisfy his desire and the rush to sex. 
What exactly do you know about this man who you wish to spend the rest of your life with? What did your cousin tell you about him and who is he really? 
What is his purpose in life? What is his personal relationship with God like? What is he currently doing and what has been his previous relationships like? Any child or an unfinished businesses with women over there? 
Even if he's ready to marry you, what are the plans both of you have made towards that? Where will you stay and what will you be doing? Or are you thinking that you're the only lady that he knows in his life? 
Dating is beyond seeing the private part of a partner, it's beyond phone sex or sexual stimulation. It's a time to talk about life and understand the personality of your partner. 
I feel that it's inappropriate for you to reduce yourself to a piece of a sex object for his gratification. You shouldn't have started the game if you are not comfortable with it. Please apologise to him for disappointing him and let him know that your vagina is not a museum for tourist attractions, he can wait for you and at least marry you so that he can have a three dimensional view of your vagina. 
Let him know that your spirit didn't accept his request and be prepared for anything. If he's coming back in December, why the hurry to see your vagina? 
Again, please watch it to avoid being deceived with marriage promises. Not all who live abroad have genuine intentions for marriage. Know the man behind the body, find out the values that you share with him, nurture friendship before marriage to avoid regrets in the future.
Look well because men that come with this kind of demand are most times out for exploration and exploitation with no commitment. Don't in your bid to marry compromise on your integrity and personality. Respect your body and if possible preserve your body for your husband and not any man.
Be wise and beware. 

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