Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Is It Worthy To Be With Someone Who Has Dumped You Three Times?

Dear Aunt Amara,
Thank you for all your good works! Please I need your wisdom on this. I am 25 years old, my last relationship was two years ago with a guy who I love up to today, but he broke my heart  by dumping me claiming that he is no longer in love with me!!
It was a very difficulty time for me because he was my first love, we had three years together. Aunty I was younger then and it was my first relationship, I did some dumb things but I was always ready to learn!!

Currently we communicate a lot but he has not said anything about us getting back together, but I heard from one of his friend that he regrets breaking up with me!! 
During our time together he constantly talked about how he cannot live with a woman, he finds it troublesome, and he broke up with me three times claiming he needed a break whenever we had an argument!! Aunty I love him and I can't help to think If we had done things differently maybe we could still be together. 
My question is, is it worthy to be with someone who has dumped you three times and with that attitude? I want to pray for this situation but I am not sure what I should ask God for. What if he is not good for me?? I do not give up on people easily and I believe there is good in everyone!!
At the same time, there is a guy who has been asking me out for the past one year, he seems very honest and sweet!! I think he will make a perfect husband and a father, the problem is I am not attracted to him at all. Is it okay to date someone even though you are not attracted to them, hoping you will learn to love him??
And at one point, I will have to date and have kids of my own!! How do I find relationships amazing again, it's like I am still holding on to my past relationship, I believe we deserve a second chance!!
Thank you aunt.

There's no breakup without an irreconcilable difference or incompatibility between the partners but when he consistently and continuously break up with you for three times, I feel that both of you may not have the emotional maturity to manage your differences and mend the broken fence. 
We all deserve a second chance when the partners are willing to give their heart to make the relationship work and is also willing to let go of pride and some unpalatable attitude that has the tendency to destroy the relationship. 
Where that is not possible, it will be in your best interest to move on with your life rather than hold on to a relationship that has no future or vision for both of you. 
He can remain your good friend but I think that you should move on with your life and try someone else. Minimise your communication with him and create some space from him so that you can give your heart to another man and learn more about his personality and purpose in life. 
Maybe when you give the new partner some time, you may fall in love with him. I will suggest that you don't rush out because you don't 'feel his vibe' from a distance. There are some individuals that you will discover their uniqueness when you get closer to them, and you need a man who loves you so much that he can do anything to have you than a man who you love so much that you have to do everything to keep him. 
Be open to love and stop waiting for a man who is emotionally not prepared to love your imperfect perfections and help you become the kind of woman that he's proud of.

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