Thursday, October 20, 2016

I Never Liked Him At All.

Good evening aunty Amara, am writing to you with deep pains and confused mind. Sorry my story is long but I will try and summarizes it. Am a victim of heart break, God used that to turn me into what I am today, I never knew what God's purpose is for me till I experienced heart break, he made me understand really who I am. I promise to summarize my story, let me try and do that.
After my heart break, it wasn't easy to start life again but with God by my side and the encouraging words from my mum and others,
I was able to stand on my feet again. I gave myself totally to God for him to use me, although I did not rock life cos I came from a strict family and am still the way I came to this world as in "V"(virgin).
After some prayers and fasting, I came across four guys, they came at the same time, they were all kind. I fasted and prayed, committed all of them to God for him to choose the right one for me. As a human being without the knowledge of what God has for me, I chose the one that always call asking how am doing, have you eaten, what are you doing now bla....bla....bla...
I developed likeness for him based on what I see, I felt I will be comfortable with him when I end up with him, unfortunately God says he's not the one. (I know some will ask how did I know he's not for me?) Am a very prayful person and anytime I ask God to speak to me, he does through dreams, sometime I heard him loud and clear.
So in this guy's case I was fasting and I was on my way to church (that's on Sunday), I was having deep thoughts about them, (the guys) the one I felt he's the right person and others, I heard a deep voice said he's not the one, the voice called different person among the four guys. I was sad and I asked why this particular guy? Why not the one I chose?
After that day, the guy that was so caring and concerned started behaving so strange, he argues unnecessarily and nags a lot. So, I started seeing reasons why he's not the right person. Since that day I dropped the three guys and moved with the one the voice said he's the right one.
But aunty Amara do you know what? I never liked him for once, from the day we met, he's so arrongant, stingy, he lies a lot, he flirts etc. Although am not after his money but his heart, so nothing to like about him.
Sometimes I wish I have crush or infatuation for him at least but nothing absolutely that trips me about him. When we met, he brought the suggestion of us fasting every first week of every month for God to help us and perfect his well, since when he announced that I never failed for once, sometimes I fast on my own without his knowledge for the relationship. Now my problem he's not what I think he is, he always talk about God, criticizing people about how they worship God but there's nothing good about him, he flirts, lies a lot etc. Although he do attend church activities but not often and yet he keeps on living a bad life. When I discovered about the infidelity he's having in the relationship, I asked but he denied it, for him to prove to me that he's not guilty, he went ahead calling his ex, telling them to call me and tell me nothing is in between them and they will even tell if I like him I should go ahead nothing is between them, and I will let the matter die. Am tired of one problem to another, he's not straight forward and anytime I feel like quitting the relationship, the more I hear the voice saying don't, that's where my destiny is, sometime I pray, fast, pour my heart to God, in the midst of praying I will hear the voice still telling me that same thing to the extent I made up my mind and tell God let your will be done, if really that's where you want me to be let it come to pass.
I call him and we discuss and iron things out, I asked him to redefine the relationship, his short term goals, of which he did, and our short term goals are almost the same thing. Okay let's start working towards it is the problem, today he will say different thing tomorrow he will change the another thing. Sometimes I get angry and I will tell him let's quit so that I will be free, sometimes I cry to God to let it go but that same voice will always come to me. Honestly speaking I don't like this guy, am seeing him as if we are not compatible, he doesn't view things the way it should, he's too arrogant. I wish to have a very good family, a prayerful home where God will dwell but Aunty with this guy I doubt. Please help me on what to do cos right now am confused.

I don't meddle with individuals who have genuine conviction from God because God will never lead his own daughter to hell. If you are saying that God himself revealed him through your dreams, definitely he will reveal the best way to manage whatever circumstances and challenges that may come your way. 
But I seriously doubt if it was God that spoke to you or your emotions, I seriously worry whether the dream was from God or from your thoughts. I seriously doubt if God will give you a man who doesn't have a personal relationship with him or heed to his word. I have some reservation about what you termed as God's will, and I also have no idea how young you are. 
Perhaps we need to talk more to understand exactly what is going on in your life and perhaps help you understand your personality and God's purpose for your life.
Until then, I will suggest that you take a break from the relationship and figure out yourself before venturing into relationship.


  1. GOD loves us dearly,you may think HE loves you more than that criminal or prostitute,but the fact remains HE loves us all and wants to use you to turn that unbeliever to HIM.HIS ways is never our ways and HIS thought is never ours

  2. I agree with Aunty Amara. Give yourself a break. The way you are going, you may lose your V to him and start battling soul tie with him. God will not lead you to hell. We are not robots, so what God does is to guide and lead us an not to force someone on us or even his own will. Just keep being busy with the things of God and subject this relationship to the altar of prayer an the crucible of time. Time is the best test for every relationship. The bible said in Isaiah 28:16 that he that believes does not make haste. Be still and don't push your desires and marriage agenda to God. He makes all things beautiful in IT'S time. God bless you.

  3. If God lead you to this guy, It may not even be literally about you marrying him but marrying him to God. start by praying for this guy's genuine salvation and ask God to fill your mouth utterances bad best approach to win his soul for him. you may just be a sickle of harvest God wants to use to get him. take a break from the r/ship perspective and see it in this way.

    Perhaps marriage to him may follow or when your assignment is done, God will bring your own man to you.

    God dishes out instructions phase by phase.

    Wish you the best.


    1. *....and ask God to fill your mouth with the best utterance and approach to win his soul for him.


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