Monday, December 12, 2016

Should I Break-up Or Forgive Her?

Madam please post this for me, I need advice from you and my fellow fans.
I have been dating her since 2013, then I was working with the Julius berger but in 2014 I lost the job because the project was completed. Since then I was not really of help and she is the only child of her mum, she cared for her, gave her anything she needed which I was not really happy about for not being able to help in some ways, though it was a distance relationship.

Last year 2014 she came home for Xmas and told me she dated another guy in her area, two times the guy took her to the hotel but claimed nothing happened except romance. I was really angry with her and she got down on her knees begging me with tears and told me she will break up with the guy which she did and told me it won't happen again.
I love her with all my heart nothing left, so I forgave her, we continued. In February she came back from Lagos where she's based to write JAMB and that time her mum had an accident and broke her leg, and came home to meet her. Thank God I had a bike since I was not financially okay, I made myself and my bike available for them. During that time we really had problems cos I cheated on her and she found out, I begged her, it was not easy for me but finally she accepted my apology. Till August when her mum recovered, and she went back to Lagos, I learnt that communication matters a lot in a distance relationship. I made sure I called her at least three times a day and she called me too, I sent her airtime but to my greatest surprise because if I call her I know what mood she is if she pick-up the call.
Today we were chatting, she just text me she's not trustworthy. I asked her to explain, she said nothing, I noticed something was wrong, I had to calm her down  force the truth out of her mouth before she opened up to me that she have a guy in Lagos that they both got to bed yesterday but sex was not involved just romance, that she stopped the guy when he wanted to have sex with her.
I was shocked because I trusted her 100%, she started to apologise. This is the second time this is happening and she promised to break up with the guy again.
Fellow friends please help me out, I don't know what to do again, part of me tells me to break-up, the other doesn't want to let go, please help me out, she's just 20 years old.

I will understand that the first time was a mistake, but the second action is a deliberate decision by her to enjoy herself with her Lagos boyfriend. 
Someone who could have romance with a man can as well have sex with him. If they had to pay for a hotel room for romance, do you think that the man will not wish to have sex with her? 
Truth is that she knows that you're a good man, though you've also given her reasons to break even with you, but she's not fully convinced of what she wants in life and who she wishes to spend the rest of her life with. 
You will be punishing yourself if you decide to stick with her especially now that she's not really sure what she wants. Seems like flashy and good romance is her greatest need than a good relationship. So instead of investing so much in communicating with her, maybe you should consider building yourself up and establishing yourself. 
Thank God you have a bike, use it to raise funds to maybe buy a fairly used car for taxi, think big, think of investing in your passion, give her some space and time, it's time you allow her to figure out what she wants in life, don't always try to ignore what you can't cope with in your marriage. 
If she's not trustworthy in your relationship, she won't be faithful in marriage. Give her some time, a little break will do, let her break up and make up with whoever she wishes to, it's her life, her choice, and her freedom. Whatever is yours will always be there for you, no need for all the stress and worries.
Surrender everything to God and pray for his discernment to help you make the best decision in your relationship and in your life.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)