Tuesday, February 14, 2017

How Do I Tell my Heart to Stop Loving Someone that's not Reachable?

Good morning ma and God bless you for your healing words.... I'm 25, I'm feeling so frustrated and depressed like I don't know how else to go about this issue....
I met this guy at a time I didn't believe in love between opposite sex, it took him some time to convince me that he is real,
and then I began to understand, trust, and love him in return but along the line the relationship became a distant one though the communication was fluent but I had some other reasons to end the relationship.
Something within me was always there to say that reason isn't enough to let go of someone you love, so I kept holding on hoping that when we get to see again everything will return to normal.... But sometime last year he became bold enough to tell me he was going to move on and I should do the same. I tried to inquire from him for his reasons and he said "nothing", so even though I had grown to love him with everything in me, I still had to respect his decision.....
I have tried to take it easy on myself but I can't, my pain is that I don't know why my relationship of over four years is crashing, how a man that took time to show me he was different will just wake one morning and say it's over. We're close now, I mean in the same city, and the last time I saw him he was saying " I still have a place in his heart" .....
I have been trying to figure things out as in trying to picture where I went wrong as I have also asked him countless times but his response remain the same "nothing". I concluded within myself that if there was really anything I did wrong and he truly loved me as he claimed, he should have talked to me about it.
Well ma, am tired of the whole drama of hoping that things will change, I have tried moving on but my problem is I feel guilty that I'm giving up on him, why won't my heart understand that this young man is gone, I mean he has gotten another girl to love..... My big problem now is, I haven't been able to open up and feel anything for another guy since this incident because there was nothing this guy didn't say that other guys are saying right now. I know I won't be able to handle anything similar to this again so I don't give ears to any guy, all I do is pray, and shedding my tears of brokenness before God. But most times I miss love and wish I never had to experience a broken relationship...
Ma, please how do I overcome this time, how do tell my heart to stop loving someone that's not reachable again, how do I begin to see the good in next man that might come so I won't chase him away out of depression
How do I make my conscience to stop making me feel am the one hurting him.

You entered into a relationship when you were emotionally immature and unavailable for a relationship. This man may have held on, fought, and did all manner of things to win your heart, and immediately he succeeded in that, he lost interest in you. 
Because you were not emotionally prepared for a relationship, you must have frustrated, tortured and abused his emotions in such a manner that he didn't see you as the kind of lady that will give him the peace of mind and fulfilment that he desires from his partner. 
It wasn't entirely your fault considering that you might have entered the relationship when you were focused on something else and couldn't decipher between true love and infatuation. 
Be that as it may, you need to accept yourself and choose to love yourself more instead of waiting for a man who is already happy with another lady. You need to learn from your mistakes and move on with your life. 
Maybe he could have applied a different approach to help you grow to love and understand him, but he knows better than I do why he felt that moving on is the best decision for him, and the worst thing to do now is beg to be loved by a man. 
It was a great relationship and a good time to learn more about his personality and men in general, and it's time for you to accept that though it was a good relationship, it wasn't good enough to stand the test of your love and commitment to the relationship. 
It's time to stop looking for the reason why the relationship failed, and accept that everyone has the freedom to decide what they feel is the best for them. 
Waiting for him is limiting yourself from finding happiness and love in life and settling for self pity. If you're precious to him, he will look out for you, but if you're not, he will only tolerate your presence in his life. 
You deserve better, weep no more, love will favour you if only you are willing to open your heart to love again.

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