Monday, April 17, 2017

His Attitude and Manners Breaks my Heart!

Good evening ma'am, happy Easter. I want to seek advice on some issues please.
My marriage is just six months old, the attitude and manners of my husband is giving me heart break.
His temperament is too much for me to bear, everyday I keep thinking on how to walk out of the marriage but I can't imagine leaving the marriage I just entered. He frowns at anything I do, he always disgraces me in public, as it is now I don't go out with him, because each time we go out I must be humiliated and disgraced.
He keeps threatening me that he will beat me, he will deal with me. He's not romantic and caring, he keeps malice a lot. The painful thing is that I noticed some of all these during courtship in him before marriage, I never knew he will becomes worse. Now that we are married, I wish I can turn back the hands of time.
As if his attitude is not enough, we recently went to see a gynaecologist because we are trying to have baby. My hubby was diagnosed with low sperm count and infection after some test run on us. From last month till today he has refuse to go for treatment.
I have started my own treatment but he refused to go back to the clinic for treatment. Each time I tried talking about it to him, he keeps saying the doctor is not God to tell him how many sperm count he need to impregnate a woman.
I have told him that it's good to trust in God but it's also good to go for medical treatment. Ma please I need some advice on how to make him understand that he needs medical treatment even as we are still trusting in God, and how to cope with his attitude. Thank you ma, sorry for the long write up.

Take a deep breath and settle into your marriage. It's quite painful that you are experiencing this at the very beginning of your marriage, but since you saw these signs and traits, and still went ahead to marry him, it will be appropriate for you to give him some time to adjust to the responsibilities and duties of a man and husband. 
There are two ways to change a bad circumstances, it's either you change your perception of the issue or you work towards resolving whatever may be responsible for the challenges you're experiencing in your marriage. 
I want to believe that there are virtues and qualities that attracted you to him which were strong enough to make you ignore his weaknesses and inadequacies, maybe now is the time to assure yourself of his virtues, and hope that he will make amend with time. 
This is the best time to seek the face of God in your marriage and surrender everything including your husband to him. Truth is, no marriage is without its own peculiarities, and if God doesn't build your marriage, your efforts and sacrifices will amount to nothing. 
Change your disposition towards his attitude, talk less, pray more, ignore his actions, and give him the freedom to choose the path to follow. 
If things doesn't get better, involve his family and yours for a peaceful resolution. If at any point he raises his hands on you, then you may need to leave the house for your safety. 
As regards your intention to have a baby, please don't push him or put him under pressure, not every man have the patience and maturity to handle something as sensitive as low sperm count.
On your part, change his diet, give him water melon, yogurts, all the nuts, vegetables, fruits and protein.
I want to believe that both of you will find the rhythm of your personality and learn how to accommodate your differences. 
I hope that God will give you the wisdom and understanding to manage his shortcomings and love him.
If possible, encourage him to write to me. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)