Friday, July 21, 2017

I Live in Fear in my Marriage!

Good evening aunty Amara... I am married, will be two years in my marriage this November 14th and have been pregnant thrice... I lost two, and am presently on bedrest in my parents' custody.. I don't know if I made a mistake by marrying my husband because I am not enjoying my marriage at all. I've managed to keep quiet but it's eating me up..
The first pregnancy I lost was immediately after our honeymoon, this was due to too much work at home and stress at work...
My husband feels a woman is capable of doing everything, hence no need for a help... I pleaded that we go to the hospital when I was experiencing pains but he opted to pray for me instead.
I bled, rolled and did all manner of gymnastic, he still didn't agree to take me to the hospital, until five days later or so, that was when mumsy complained and threatened to come take me herself.
When we got to the hospital, the Doctors complained and blamed me for listening to him. At last, after all the medical test and scan, they referred me for an emergency evacuation, which my husband complained he had no money.
Luckily I had my ATM with me, we used all in my account to pay for the bills. I was later discharged, the next day was 24th December, my MIL insisted that we travel to the village, and wala my husband agreed.
On that condition, I was forced to travel, as I got weak on the way, I stopped over at my mum's place. My in-laws insisted I come to the village, after some days I went, only for them to starve me and assign all the task to me in the house.
I fell ill in the village and returned to Jos. Later in the year, around July,  I conceived but had a late miscarriage again. This was due to the abuse, psychological and emotional pain I was subjected to by my husband... I took months to heal emotionally and was determined to speak out...
Now I discovered that my husband takes advice from his mother and older female siblings on how to handle and manage his home. I confronted the mother and some of his siblings. I told my husband not to inform his mum or anyone about my pregnancy, but he did, now I live in fear because am now pregnant and have been in and out of hospital three times due to unexplained bleeding. The specialist handling my case at the hospital doesn't seem to understand why am bleeding this much.
After an Ultrasound Scan (USS) yesterday, baby was confirmed fine.. But my in-laws now want to force some young lady to stay with me, but I doubt their intention, now I've gone to my parents. I asked them not to send the girl, they are really angry with me. They've sent another, she's in my house now, and they want to send her to my parents to assist me.
Now why I am really scared is because two other ladies who married from my husband's village called to warn me about my husband's family and their kinsmen.... Am worried.

Put yourself together and focus on your health, safety, and your pregnancy. Fear doesn't help a pregnant woman in any manner, so refrain from feeding your mind with fear or anxiety. 
Thank God for your family's wisdom to bring you home and support you now, that's the best option for you. 
If they want to send all women to help your husband, that's okay but don't allow anyone close to your parent's house for any assistance. 
Endeavor to attend antenatal program and to also feed well. When you put to bed, you may then decide if you wish to continue with your husband or not. 
A man who punished you in your pregnancy genuinely wanted you dead, because I have no idea what he was thinking when he saw you in pains and chose to pray for you instead of rushing you to the hospital. 
In any case, I will suggest that you ignore any other thing around you, don't worry about what people said about his family or his personality, but entrust everything to God. 
I pray that nothing will happen to your baby, and that you will give birth in good health.

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