Saturday, November 25, 2017

One Year Later, I Haven't Set my Eyes on Hubby!

Good morning ma, I was suppose to go meet my fiancee in the country were he stays, so when he told the mum about his plans she and his family insisted he paid my bride price, even if it's just to put money on my head, their reason is that they know their son has a girlfriend over there that they don't want me having issues, so I agreed cos I felt they were behind me, before the date was fixed.
I asked him, hope you know the visa won't be ready soon he said yes, I then asked him where I will be staying he said I will retain my old place.
After the bride price was paid, the mum said I should spend some time which I did. I got tired of the place cos I was always home and I wasn't comfortable with the settings of the house, had no room of my own, no privacy.
So I told my husband that I wanted to go back to my place that's after spending like two months with his mum. His dad agreed but the mum was just upset for reasons I know nothing of.
To cut the long story short, I left the house after many quarrels, told my husband I needed to find a job, that I can't stay in one place. Things became so hard even till now, that even the money that was meant for the Visa is now being used for allowances, even now all I get is not up to, ₦10,000 in a month, for food, bills and everything.
I can't complain cos I know  his situation, my rent has expired now and he is asking me to renew it, meaning my travelling is now hanging. I am just confused, what's going on it's almost a year now I got married.
Then this morning, I had a dream I was dragged to a room was like an initiation, they wanted to know if I have been cheating on my husband. I was so confident cos I knew I wasn't, but the man that did whatever he did, said I wasn't faithful.
I felt deep down something was wrong, everyone was now shaming me, I was so ashamed, he then brought some liquid with leaves inside saying he wants to cleanse me, he was washing my hand in the dream.
People were asking him to punish me but he said no, I walked to my sit, I was so ashamed.
So  inside the dream I told myself that I was going to tell my husband to come collect his bride price cos I wasn't happy with the treatment.
I am so worried about the dream and my fate with my husband. I just need answers and advice. My mum would have been the best person to talk to but she is so much like a stranger to me.
The relationship is zero, story for another day. Please help me out. No insults please cos I don't want to feel more depressed than I already am.

You knew that he had another lady over there, but still chose to be roped into this mess you call marriage. What exactly where you thinking when you married him? 
One year later, you have neither seen your husband nor do you have any concrete understanding of what he's up to lately. 
It seems as though a man used the dowry to cage another lady, all in the name of marriage. 
I will suggest that you call him and renegotiating this marriage. Discuss your timeline with him, and plug in all these loose ends. 
If the Visa can't be ready by March to June, perhaps this marriage should be dissolved. If he can't make out time to meet you, maybe this ought not to have been. 
I mean why agree to be his second option, or should I say local champion for him? Or don't you think that you deserve better than this? 
Please do not sit down and wait for his funding, go out and work, do business, make your own money and solve your problems. 
Whether married or not, every lady needs to be financially independent/successful. You need to build yourself in such a manner that any man you meet will have no option but to respect you. 

As for your dream, I don't have the grace to interpret dreams, so I will encourage you to pray and ask the Holy spirit to help you to discern your dream. 

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