Thursday, November 30, 2017

Should I Abandon my Academics and Join my Husband?

Good morning Aunty, please help, I am confused on what to do. 
I am to choose between going to meet my hubby because he is not in Nigeria and continuing my education here.
I got married some months back, and my hubby left a month and some days after the wedding.
I am currently in 200l of which I have waited so long for this admission, nine years after diploma.
I am the only one still battling with school in my family, both elder and younger ones are through and I have this determination that I must complete my education, at least  have my first degree like others.
Hubby said he will be home finally next year before but due to some things and how things are right now in Nigeria, he planned to stay back, that I will be the one to come over. I don't know how to go about it, and he said if I choose to continue with my studies that he will only come to spend fifteen days next year and go back. 
I am confused on what to do. 

This discussion should have happened before wedding. 
Discuss this with him, what exactly is his plans for your academics? Should you join him, will his funds be able to take care of your home and your studies? Are there job opportunities you can take advantage of while you are studying abroad? Will he be able to carry responsibilities of your coming over and living with him until he's able to put things on ground to enable you work and study? 
If he can, then by all means please join him continue with your studies when you have settled into his country of residence. 
HOWEVER, if he cannot cater for your welfare and your studies, and he's willing to support you and your studies, please focus on your studies, acquire the tool for financial empowerment. 
As much as it is very important for a wife to be with her husband, especially in the early days of marriage, it is absolutely necessary for a woman to acquire tools for financial independence. 
This will be your shock absorber when things gets tough in your marriage, or when things don't work out as planned. 
The outcome of your discussion with him will to a large extent determine your next line of action.

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