Monday, February 12, 2018

For Over a Week Now, He Neither Talks Nor Eats my Food!

Aunty Amara good day, please help me with this pressing issue. Your advice and that of your followers is needed urgently. Thanks. Please help a confused sister out.
I’ve been married for two years and being of tremendous support to my hubby from day one. Just like any marriage, our bitter days surfaced few months after wedding.
We started trying to conceive which wasn’t forthcoming so we went to the hospital where we realized that he had a low sperm count to which we commenced treatment immediately.
His workplace started laying off staff for funding reasons and he was affected. So I had to take the wheel, I took care of his expensive medications, provided all our needs and even that of his mom because he doesn’t want her to be worried. 
Fast forward, after eight months of treatment, I got pregnant which we all became excited about. He was extremely supportive throughout. He got some money few weeks to my delivery, so I assumed we’ll put it to better use since he isn’t doing anything at that time.
He started taking bits of the money and when I enquired, he said he’s renovating his mom place since I’ll go there to give birth and the naming ceremony will be done there, and that he doesn’t want people to say bad things about her place of abode.
I got angry and asked who he’s trying to impress and whether he has forgotten our predicament. More so, his mom is in a two-bedroom-apartment which is okay. 
I delivered safely and had to take care of my own hospital bills and medications plus buying every other thing baby and I will need. Naming ceremony came and this guy kept begging me to not put him to shame, and that he has some money I should top up and I did. 
I went to spend the rest of my maternity leave,  I with my mom, and when I returned to my matrimonial home after three months, I cried that night. There wasn’t a single grain of rice, meanwhile he told me of some works that he did in my absence. Apparently those monies though meagre, went into buying cloths for himself and lavish living. He always want to keep up with the standard he use to have before losing his job.
I was really bitter that day and spoke my mind to him, to which he said I’m being disrespectful because he doesn’t have money now. 
I resumed work and he is the one taking care of the baby at home. His company paid them off around that time and he insisted we need to get our own car of which I thought wasn’t priority. He insisted and I had to top ₵5000 for the car and I’m still paying the balance plus maintenance and fuelling.
Baby is almost a year now, I prepared his CV and a started sending in applications for him and I suggested we take her to school so that he can try getting back on his feet which he said baby is too small to go to school at ten months. 
We have a project on going, and I realized he doubles the amounts which is being charged. I confronted him and he got angry that I’ve disrespected him for going behind him to ask the contractors questions.
I further said he should have been truthful if he doesn’t want to be disrespected. He said he wasn’t ready for argument which I didn’t mind him but went ahead talking to which he got angry and started hitting me, he went to the extent of breaking a bottle and threatening to stab me with it. I run and locked myself in the bedroom. 
I called his sister and amidst tears told her everything and that I’m leaving, she called their mom and she also called me.
An hour later, his mom came in the company of his elder brother. She insulted him well well and even asked him to beat her also since he has strength. He apologised to her but wouldn’t tell her what happened. She asked me and I explained everything and even to his joblessness, that he didn’t want them to know.
He mentioned I kept my voice was loud when I confronted him, and he doesn’t want neighbours to hear us fight that was why he even said he wasn’t ready to talk which I didn’t heed to and that I cursed him because I said some bitter things after the hitting.
We were both advised and his mom begged me not to leave and that I should come stay with her if I feel unsafe here to which I said no. 
It’s been over a week now, we sleep in separate rooms, he doesn’t talk nor eat my food. His mom calls to check on me. His sister that I called when the issue came up hasn’t called me again since then, I don’t know what he told her. Should I call her?
Did I go overboard with what I did?


You never went overboard, and you don't need to feel guilty about your approach. 
You have applied all the safety measures, and have addressed your marital issues with utmost maturity and respect. 
All you need to do now is focus on your child, your job, and your welfare. The day he decides to talk to you, he will open up to you, but if he still chooses to keep to himself, please give him some space and time to meditate and decide what he wants to do to strengthen your marriage. 
Do not allow anybody to emotionally blackmail you or make you feel like you did the wrong thing. 
And if after two weeks to four weeks, he fails to talk to you, kindly inform your family and his family, and discuss the next step to take for your peace of mind and happiness. 
Marriage is not for kids who feel that they are entitled to do anything, and then expect to be worshipped for it. It is a joint responsibility for both the man and the lady, and under no circumstances should any spouse condone physical, emotional or psychological abuse.
Keep your mind positive, and give your best to your child and your family.

2 comments:

  1. My Husband was so smooth at hiding his infidelity and I had no proof for months, I was referred to Private investigator  and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating husband's text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone calls conversations was linked directly to my cellphone. (worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on him and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..if your husband is an expert at hiding his cheating adventures contact him


    ReplyDelete
  2. My Husband was so smooth at hiding his infidelity and I had no proof for months, I was referred to Private investigator  and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating husband's text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone calls conversations was linked directly to my cellphone. (worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on him and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..if your husband is an expert at hiding his cheating adventures contact him


    ReplyDelete

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