Monday, April 23, 2018

Am I Overreacting or Wasting my Time with Him?

Good day ma.
Please I need your sincere advice on this to know if I'm being patient or wasting my time.
Been married for five years plus now, and no child because my hubby has a low sperm count which he last treated medically
in the first two years of our marriage without improvement.
And ever since, there's been no treatment, even when I contacted another doctor for help and the doctor prescribed drugs for him to use for three months, he has not started the drugs. In fact, he doesn't even talk about it.
Recently, I'm beginning to think that I'm wasting my time with him or am I over reacting? I am 30 years old while he's 41 years old. Thanks for your anticipated advice.

I know that this is a difficult and frustrating situation for you and your husband. This wasn't your fault nor was it your expectation when you walked down the isle with him. 
Marriage is never a perfect union, but an imperfect journey of two imperfect being who have hope and faith for a prosperous and perfect home. 
Do you think that your husband is comfortable with the fact that he cannot impregnate you, or that he is experiencing low sperm count? Do you have any idea the emotional pressure and mental stress he goes through whenever he makes love to you, knowing that he cannot impregnate you? 
I want you to take a moment, and imagine that you were in his shoes, just for few months, imagine the worries, mockery, and the constant enquiries from your relatives and friends, 'whether it has entered'.
It will help you to learn to be patient with him, encourage him, support him, and minimize the pressure you put on him. He will resist your suggestions whenever you make him feel guilty about your not being able to take-in after five years of wedding, but when you help him understand that it is not about him but about you and him, maybe he will loosen up and join you whenever you suggest anything for him. 
Please do not go to any doctor and get recommendations, and then expect your husband to drink it. It is entirely wrong for any medical doctor to prescribe drugs without examination of the patient and carrying out prosper diagnosis. 
Please learn to appreciate him, respect him, and support him even in this situation. If he has low sperm count, both of you may consider IVF or treatment that will enable both of you to conceive and have your own child. 
This is not wasting your time, but experiencing the unpleasant challenges of marriage. 
I pray that God will give you the wisdom and maturity to work with your husband, and trust God for your own children. He is still faithful in blessing every home with children, and as He remembered Hannah, He shall remember your tears and struggles and bless you with your own children.

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