Friday, October 12, 2018

Depressed; I Need Help!


Good morning Amara,

My name is... I am 35 years old and still single. I am a graduate of ... and have been working as ... in a private company for the past 6 years. I am the ... child in a family of ...

I am writing to you because i need help. I am depressed.

1. I grew up in a very abusive home where my mother was a punching bag for my father. My mother stayed back in the marriage and today they are living together peacefully but i think what happened those days affected me somehow in ways i cannot explain.



2. Growing up i hoped to study Law but somehow i ended up with a different course, a course that i hate till date.

3. I would have loved to work in an office especially Administrative kind of job but the job i have is tied to working at sites and it is in contrast with what i love doing. The thought of going to work saddens me and it is affecting my output and does not bring out my best performance.

4. When i finished secondary school while waiting for admission into the university, i joined a drama group in my church (2001), that was the best moment of my life. I always look forward to being on the stage and my performances were always amazing. I wish i have the opportunity to do such for the rest of my life because that's what i truly love but it's not feasible.

5. I have been in some relationships but it always end up with my partner cheating on me. I believe so much in love but it seems to be eluding me and it hurts. Went to my friend's house on Saturday morning unannounced but he wouldn't let me enter his house because there was another lady inside. I have ended the relationship but i am hurting. At 35 i am single and i am scared, scared of never finding true love, why can't men be faithful?

6. From childhood to date, my life has been series of negativity.
I wish i had better childhood. I wish i studied the course of my dream. I wish i am doing the kind of job i want. I wish i am on the stage every other day. I wish i have a man that is faithful and truly loves me.
Why can't i have these things in life that come naturally to others?
I am watching others live while i just exist.
The things i want in life hardly come my way.
I am tired. Sometimes i feel like closing my eyes and never opening them again.

Sorry for the long writeup, you are the only one i can talk to.



Dearest,
I truly understand how you feel and how frustrating this is to you. I feel the pain in your heart and I wish there’s something I can do to change things for you. But I believe that all things are possible with God. 

I also believe that life is what we make it. I don’t believe in going through life bitter, frustrated, and disappointed. I am a very optimistic person who believes I am the best gift this world has. I am a woman who has been beaten mercilessly by the world, but I still rise knowing that I am God’s precious daughter. That’s who you are too, my dear. The problem here is that you have failed to assume your position in God’s heart. You have retired to fate. You have decided to be depressed and this is what the devil loves to see. God wants you out of that sadness.

Now, even though the job you do right now isn’t what you love doing, you have to start living a life of gratitude. Think about the millions of college graduates with no job. Think about honors students who are in the grave. My dear, I was admitted into college to study medicine and surgery, but life wouldn’t let me do that. I ended up as a graduate of education in my first degree. Did I go about complaining? That’s one thing I never do because complaining does you no good. I know how to make lemonade out of the many lemons life has given me. I decided to enjoy what I do. I was mocked by an ex for being just a preschool (nursery) teacher earning $9/hr. Today, I am a school director and about getting a job as part time university lecturer. Yes, life has and will continue to throw stones at you because you are special. Stop being bitter. Stop grumbling. Gather those stones and in humility, build a mansion for yourself. God is taking you on a journey and all you have to do is SURRENDER, TRUST, and OBEY. 

Now, drop that garment of mourning and put on a garment of praise. Begin to enjoy your job. Begin to release positive energy. You’ll see what will happen, not just to your job; your love life will become amazing because people will get attracted to the positive energy around you and you’ll be the one choosing men; don’t let a man choose you. He’ll find you, but you’re the one to decide if you want to choose him. You’re 35, not 55. Deal with what you can change and let God handle the rest. Be a sweet and joyful girl once again. You are Jehovah’s little baby. He loves you. I love you too.

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