Saturday, October 13, 2018

How do I Overcome my Phobia for Women?

I have this burning issue that has been hanging around me for a long time now, and whenever I remember it, affects my thinking............... 
Four years ago when I was still in school, precisely in my third year, I met a girl, not as a date but I met her during her registeration because she was finding it difficult to arrange her files, so I volunteerd and helped her. 
After the whole process was done, we then exchange contacts; thereafter, she kept calling me whenever she run into any difficulty. 
One day, at about 10am, as I was in class taking lectures, she called me that she didn't come to school because she is sick, so I left school immediately and went to see her. 
Immediately I got into her room, she shut her door and undressed herself, she forced me(I couldn't resist) she had lied to be ill, that same day she took my shirt, my phone and hid them, telling me to stay till the following day. 
I obliged and we made love, three day later she came to my department and said she just bought a new fan, that I should come fix it for her, I did and after that we made love again. 
I feel she used me because each time I entered her room, I just lost it, I can count the number of time we had sex, yet we weren't dating. I could not make love to my girlfriend anymore bcos I was always exhausted after sex with her, and this killed my relationship as my girlfriend then decided to quit because I was no longer emotionally attached to her...........
To cut the story, after I graduated, I began to realize that this lady used me, she took advantage of me, she used me whenever she is horny and aroused. Sometimes she will get me juice and put some Viagra, like a sex enhancement powder in it making me active on her till dawn....... 
Please do not condem me now because I took courage to write this. Whenever I remembered her, I just felt used because while I was leaving school, she told me she really appreciated all my efforts, that she can't be my girlfriend, but she just wanted benefits, and that I should not be angry, saying that whenever she needs me, she will call me, even though I'm posted to north for my NYSC, she was willing to come. 
God I swear, it affected me, I felt reduced and embarrassed that a lady could to this stuff to me. Please house help me to overcome this situation, I'm 28 years old now, and it's affecting my relationship with women, how do I get over this??
..... I want some advice...thanks a lot.

There are some inconsistencies in your mail, and as such I am finding it a bit difficult to connect with the 'feeling used' accusation you have against this lady. 
If what happened on the day she called you and requested that you come be true, that was a rape case, and one that you ought to have reported to the security authorities as at then. 
The confusing part in your mail is the fact that she always invited you and you always visited her. Or could it be that you started enjoying her body? 
She didn't coerce you into dumping your relationship with your girlfriend, nor did she force you into sex all the Time. Instead, you visited often, and both of you enjoyed the best romp you could ever imagine. 
I think that your pain was that you wanted more while she wanted your, you wanted her to be your girlfriend which she declined and you suddenly feel used. 
Again, I am not disproving your mail but spotting some inconsistencies with your claim. 
If you feel used because she refused to be your girlfriend, then I suggest you let go and learn to value your relationship more than you value sex romp. 
But if you were sexually violated by this lady, then you need both legal and psychological support for you to overcome the trauma of being sexually abused by a lady. 
You need to seek therapy, unlearn the evil and wickedness this lady put you into for years, and then learn how to build healthy friendships with ladies devoid of sexual tone. 
With time, you will overcome the phobia of ladies, and hopefully meet a lady who wouldn't take advantage of you but will love all of your personality.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you jare Aunty Amara.I really don't know where the feeling used is coming from. In your own words:

    '.....Immediately I got into her room, she shut her door and undressed herself, she forced me(I couldn't resist) she had lied to be ill, that same day she took my shirt, my phone and hid them, telling me to stay till the following day.
    I obliged and we made love, three day later she came to my department and said she just bought a new fan, that I should come fix it for her, I did and after that we made love again....'

    You never told us you did not enjoy it but instead you willingly carried your body too her room, enjoyed the free manna, isn't it?

    I am sure like Aunty Amara said there is more to this story that you are telling us.


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)