Tuesday, April 26, 2016

I'm Tired of His Lack of Money!

Good day ma, a friend introduced me to your page. Please ma I urgently need your advise. I am married for four years now with two wonderful kids. The problem is that my husband has not got a good job, he is just managing as a teacher.
I have been the one sustaining the home(I work with N***). Though my husband is loving and caring but am tired of his lack of money. I can't buy what I need anymore because of family responsibilities.
To worsen it my father warned me not to marry him cos he is not rich but I went ahead thinking he will get a better job sooon, this is the fourth year. The painful part is my father is now mocking us. I want to divorce him so I can be free. I don't even love him anymore. Please advise me. You may read : how do I keep my home?

Seriously I wish I don't have to hide my emotions just so that I don't end up sounding harsh and inconsiderate or perhaps so that you don't feel like I don't care about your pains. Well it's part of my training so I have to hide the part of me that's extremely pained by your mail. 
Madam, your husband has written to me severally and at a point I felt that he maybe complaining so much, but your mail confirmed that he was actually dealing with a woman who has no respect for his personality and no concern for his sacrifices and struggles. 
Your husband is not as rich as your father but he's also not an irresponsible man, he goes out there and strives to be better, works hard and earns a living for the family. He may not have the same privilege that you have but the least thing I expected from you was to make mockery of his personality and abuse him for not being as rich as whoever you feel that your father wanted you to marry. 
Madam, a wise and a virtuous woman won't make her husband feel weak and empty because of his humble beginning, she will gladly support him and encourage him to become better and give his best in all his endeavours. She will see her family as her pride and invest her all to protect the image of her family and the shame of her husband if any. 
Madam, your mail was like that of a little girl who is viewing marriage and love from afar and is not emotionally mature and psychologically stable to manage the challenges and the responsibilities that comes with marriage. Who talks about divorce because her husband isn't making more money than she expected from him? Who listens to the mockery and the opinions of others and turn back to abuse her husband because of the financial difference between the two of you? 
If you feel that divorcing him will make you free, please think again because no human being is ever free from the realities of life and the responsibilities that life presents to us. 
Please I will suggest that you go back home and humble yourself before your husband and learn how to support him and assist him to grow financially and otherwise. Your dad wasn't self-made, he needed the support and the sacrifices of your mother to achieve the level of success that you admire today, go back home and build your marriage and stop frustrating your husband. 
You can manage your resources and still meet up with your personal needs and the needs of your family. You don't need to give up on him because no circumstances of life is permanent and nobody is beyond God's favour. Instead of seeking for freedom, please consider helping your husband become a man and forget about the mockery and the opinions of anyone else. 
With your prayers, support, encouragement and sacrifices, your husband will not be the way he is in the next two years.
No marriage is without it's own peculiarities and it takes a lady who has a personal relationship with God, who understands the divine purpose of marriage and who is emotionally prepared, spiritually sensitive and psychologically stable to help her husband succeed in life. 
I pray the the you don't allow the devil to destroy your home because of your pursuit for riches.


  1. Very annoying post...
    God forbid that i have a bad day from reading your post...
    When i reflect on how my parents started life together with so little, i feel like flogging you...
    Like father...Like daughter..
    It runs in the blood...I don't blame you at all...
    You feel like divorcing him because he can't provide all you need?
    My dear...what are you there for?
    Didn't the bible call you a helper?
    Why not support him instead of grumbling in ignorance?
    You're so naive about what marriage should be...You didn't prepare for this journey at all...
    My parents started life in a very little way...
    At some point, we had to farm to make ends meet...
    I even had to hawk farm produce such as pumpkin leaves, pepper and okra just to generate income...
    Yet through it all....i never heard my mum complaining for a second...
    Gradually, everything became beautiful...Now we can confidently point at where we started from and give thanks to Jehovah...
    This leaves me wondering where marital virtues have gone these days...
    How rich is that your father?Can't you see that your father is not a good man?
    If he's rich, why can't he support his daughter?
    What was he before your mother married him?
    Probably...he was banking on your husband to be his ATM machine...
    He's only laughing out of frustration...
    See...Life is a field of uncertainties...
    I've seen the rich crumble...
    I've seen the poor elevated...
    The rich also cry...
    You can't have it all...
    Divorce is not the antidote to marital financial distress...
    Prayers, love, support, resilience and hardwork are..
    There's no guarantee outside...
    The pasture always appears greener on the other side...
    Be wise

    1. God bless u so much for tour response. I love to read from ppl whom God has bestowed such height of wisdom upon. May God continue to increase u.

  2. Since he is not making enough money from teaching, why not help upgrade his career or see if you two can establish a business which he can run. If you're going into business ensure that learn the trade for 3 to 6 months.

  3. Since he is not making enough money from teaching, why not help upgrade his career or see if you two can establish a business which he can run. If you're going into business ensure that learn the trade for 3 to 6 months.

  4. I swear, this post is the most annoying post i have ever read on this page, have never commented either but i just cant hide my feelings on this one, i totally agree with aunty amara and Joe, divorce your husband today because of his financial status and watch yourself regret your action soonest, your dad is simply not the best, i guess he married your mom when he was financially stable thats why he is advicing you that way, i mean no insults on him but at his age as a grown man i believe he should know that money is not everything and that all hands are not equal... I rest my case

  5. Orisirisi obinrin.. Instead of u to pray for your husband.. You are here complaining that he is not rich.when was the last time you went on ur knees to pray for him...I pray you dont regret your actions.. .you have your life to live and ur father has his.. Infact he has lived his life sef.. Dont allow anyone dictate to u..pray for your husband and kids..pray for ur family.. Support ur husband.. Encourage him.. Love him more and things would get better.. Close your ears to mockery.. Those who mock you today will come to celebrate with u tomorrow if you act well with wisdom.. God help u

  6. madam please and please, what ever u think u are passing through, some one esle has passed through worst things.. please madam apart from God,u are the only one that can really stand by ur husband and continue to pray for him,what is the need for divorce at this stage.please madam i am begging u,just stand by ur husband and encourage him,if u concentrate more on praying for him instead of complaining and counting the number of years u have spent with him,things could have been better by now,i have been through same situation but today our story is very different to the glory of GOD.

  7. Gooooooosh! You are so pathetic and I am ashamed of you as a wife,woman and mother.and your write up.
    What's your duty then? To chop money baa?those people advising you, would laugh out loud cos you have a fish brain. Just so childish at your age and maturity. Please grow up.
    I don't have any word for your "mentor" of a father.
    It's your like that makes men think that all women are the same.
    Go on your knees and pray for forgiveness to God and hubby.

  8. Madam pls stand by ur hubby n pray more 4 him n ur family God bless u n ur union

  9. Madam pls stand by ur hubby n pray more 4 him n ur family God bless u n ur union


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