Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Do I Follow Whatever my Mother-in-law Says?

My wedding clocked three months yesterday.... I am married to a man who was once married but the woman is late now, she died during her first child birth and I got married to the man exactly one year and ten months of the incident.

Though have known this guy as far back as ten years but I only liked him as a brother, though he asked me out before he married but I never loved him or let me say I was not ready for marriage and God knows we never dated until one year after he lost his wife.....
Now the issue, my mother-in-law visits my house like three times in a week at times, but minimum of once in a week unaware. We just see her and she will never eat anything, she calls minimum of five times daily just to hear from us. My mum visited us once just to know where I live and she calls like once or twice in three days.
To shorten my story, my mother-in-law visited us today again unaware, after the usual secret discussion with her son, she came to my room asking why I am not pregnant yet, saying what's the matter? I don't know what to say, I just told her I don't know that at times I would have missed my period like ten days then later sees it, she responded, 'that means she will arrange for me to see a doctor'.
I now remembered my hubby told me it was the help of his mother and their family prophet that made his first wife to get pregnant when she didn't get pregnant till the third month of their marriage, the lady eventually got pregnant and died during child birth. This is a prophet who has given us fake vision at the first month of our marriage.
Please ma, what do I do? Do I report to our area pastor because our parish pastor's home is not settled. Do I report to my pastor that joined us? Do I follow whatever my mother-in-law says?
My hubby is a boy at 36, whatever his mother says is right. Aunty, I don't have friends, no one to talk to....... Please help me out.

One of the pains of getting married to a boy is that you will be forced to endure so many unpalatable attitude of his relatives, and in most cases be suppressed by those close to him, because he will never take any decision without others, or stand with his wife and family.
When couples are having conception challenges, it is very good to pray and perhaps encourage prayer partners to pray with you, but it is also very very important for the husband and wife who are trusting God for the fruits of the womb to consult a medical doctor and rule out any medical challenges or impediment to their vision.
It is still God who gave the medical doctors the wisdom and grace to discern what could affect a couple from conceiving and how they can be supported. Going to prophets and pastors shouldn't be the most important thing to do. Also you need to talk to your husband and let him know that both of you can work on your marriage and achieve your vision without the interference and constant disturbance of his mother. Both of you are the individual who the doctor needs, no need for his mother to schedule you to meet with the doctor without also including her son.
Again, couples who rely so much on prophesies, and pastors most times have a greater chances of being mislead, deceived and manipulated by these individuals whose intentions is to tell you what you wish to hear and not the word of God.
The greatest prophesy is the word of God and the more you study the the word of God, the more you receive great prophesies for your journey. Your greatest tool is your knees, and when you combine your knees in prayers and the word of God, you will need no prophet for any prophesy.
So don't allow anyone to push you into seeking prophesies and counter prophesies, but hold unto God and don't allow anyone to intimidate you.
Three months of marriage is too early for anyone to put you under pressure and frustrate your life with pregnancy demands. You need to open up and remind anyone who cares to listen that God will bless you at his own time, and avoid allowing anyone to monitor your menstrual cycle, and make you feel like a barren woman (God forbid).
I am hopeful that visiting a medical doctor will greatly help you and your husband to work on anything that maybe a challenge or hindrance to conception. Also with prayers and constant sexual intercourse, I believe that you shall receive your baby in no distant future.
Please do not be afraid or be intimidated or allow anyone to push you into taking wrong decision, and please make out time to groom your husband and also pray for him. I only hope that God will help him to understand what marriage is all about and give him the wisdom and grace to lead your home.


  1. Plz also ensure that d doc refers u guys to a good lab for all kinds of tests relating to infertility esp infection, sperm mortility and fibroid. Never u stop praying.

  2. Plz also ensure that d doc refers u guys to a good lab for all kinds of tests relating to infertility esp infection, sperm mortility and fibroid. Never u stop praying.

  3. But this is just your third month in this marriage. Is still very early.

  4. Be very careful with your MIL, I can't imagine any mother that can't give newly weds time to bond. I have noticed that people that always seek to know people's business zero even their kids, oftentimes, it's not out of genuine concern but the operate in a realm you can't imagine. If you were on birth control pills before marriage, oftentimes, it takes some time to clear so anytime from 3months.


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