Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Rejoinder; Please Talk to my Boyfriend!

Good day ma, I saw this post (please-talk-to-my-boyfriend) on your wall and I believe am the one involved in this..
This is my own story. I pray It gets posted...... My girlfriend has said her side of the story.
Ma'am these all started in 2015 during her Industrial Training (IT) where against my advice of learning bead and wireworks which her sister does, she opted to work where she's paid ₦10000. In the end she had constraints and started misbehaving in the office. She ended up sleeping with a senior colleague there and started two more affairs with two Indian men.
I found out and confronted her, she denied, I showed her proofs of what she's doing, and she now begged I help her change. So I decided to work with her to help her change.
Ma'am, after a while, she made another arrangement with her ex to sleep with him for ₦5000 every month. Ma, I found out again and stopped this.. All those while, I kept these to myself and away from her parents.
In 2016 again in her fast forward to March 2017, I discovered she wanted to start doing hookups with men, I warned her about the consequences and tried discouraging her but she claimed she'll only collect transportation money from them and not visit. I told her it's not possible judging from how delicate her brain was. This caused a quarrel and I told her sisters to advise her since she couldn't listen to me. They called her back home and did so. Ma, I don't have a job yet, but am hustling in a genuine crime free way. I do network installation, satellite installation, and configuration too and the little money I get, I send some part to her. Ending of last year, I sent her ₦23,000 to complete her school fees.
Now ma'am on the 4th of July, I went to Abuja for an interview, before then, I've already given her ₦9000 hoping that when I return I'll give her more cause a new semester just started.
Within those periods, she got on Tinder, started hooking up with men and sharing her contact. On Friday the 14th of July, I was on my way back so I called her to come on Saturday, she told me she was busy and can't make it, then I suspected something was wrong.
I then discovered she had an arrangement with a guy she met in Tinder to come and spend the night for ₦5000. I called her and warned her not to go anywhere, yet she denied any of such. I told her it'll cause a serious rift in our relationship if she eventually end up in Umuahia.
Ma'am, do you know she threatened to quit since I didn't want to believe she's at home, so I apologized to her. Maybe by Saturday I called her brother she was living with, and he attested she wasn't at home, that was when I knew she went to Umuahia despite my warnings.
I warned her that if she does it, I'll tell her friends and her family what she's been doing and the kind of life she wants to live.
Now ma, all the while she was with this guy and I called her and was scolding her, she put the phone on loudspeaker so the guy could listen after which they had another sex before she started coming back..
I only reacted this way as serveral times I threatened with telling her sisters, I ended up not telling but for her to call my bluff means she has totally decided to join bad gang. I did all those so that her friends will advice her accordingly which they had been doing and I decided not to tell her mum again.
Now I've requested she go do a HIV test cos in the process she gave the guy a blowjob. Now she's refusing, saying she has no money but she took her money to visit this guy without the guy sending her transportation fare.
Presently the only thing she got from the guy was just ₦2000 for her transportation to and fro and her total transportation fares to and fro is ₦1300, and the guy only promised to pay her through bank transfer but hasn't picked her calls since today..
I threatened her but I didn't do it, I only told her close school friends (two girls and her cousin) This is my own side of the story and I believe she can't refute it.. God bless you man for your good works
And ma'am before I saw this post, I've already called her in the morning and apologized for all the name calling and also not to tell her people because despite all these, all I wanted was for her to be a good girl and stop keeping bad friends.
I decided also to increase my stipends to her since she's only three months away from being a graduate. I just wanted her to learn some lessons but she only prefers to learn the hard way..
If being with her since early 2014 and has always endured her sleeping around issue, not that I am a saint either but whenever I default I do call her to tell her and also apologize, and it has only been thrice, two in 2015 and one last year.


Hmmmm, this is huge really but here is what I suggest you do. Give her some space and allow her to decide the kind of life she wishes to live. 
No matter how much you want to help her become a better lady, you need to allow her choose what she feels is the best for herself. 
Again, I will advice you not to ignore some of these obvious flaws in her life because you may meet them after wedding. 
If you gave her ₦9000 and she still went to sleep with a stranger she met online, even after all admonitions and threats, trust me, she has no respect or concern for your feelings and happiness as a man. 
Give her some space and think through this relationship, because these weaknesses are quite huge for you to ignore, and don't allow her to push you into emotional blackmail. 
The only place I faulted your action was in exposing her to her friends. No matter the mess you encounter in your partner, you either deal with it or take a walk. Do not let anyone know those weaknesses of your partner because you have no idea how they will handle it. 
Thanks for contacting me with your version of the incident, indeed I respect your maturity and patience, but I must tell you to look well before you leap. 
If she genuinely decides to repent on her own, maybe you can consider her, but where she continues as she pleases, I'm pretty sure that she will have herself to be blamed. 

4 comments:

  1. Leave her immidiately.Sh is gonna b a source of ua stress ever.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The handwriting is written boldly on the wall for you to see. You better quit now and take a walk out of the relationship now for your own good. Goodluck.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The handwriting is written boldly on the wall for you to see. You better quit now and take a walk out of the relationship now for your own good. Goodluck.

    ReplyDelete
  4. guy, i no no say your mumu big reach lick this. it is like the girl done wash put for you. continue your mumu till your eye go clear. CAN YOU READ WHAT YOU JUST WROTE OF YOURSELF. NONSE.

    ReplyDelete

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