Saturday, February 3, 2018

How Do I Confront Her for Cheating on Me?

Good pm our blessed and good counsellor..

It gives me great concern to share my worries with you and seek for a counsel.

I started dating a lovely friend of mine when I was 20(2008), and in my second year in University. She was yet to gain admission and was 19 then. After schooling we decided to tie nuptial knot together by planning and taking our relationship serious.
Mathematically we've dated for ten years. Last year, I already planned taking a bold step by seeing her parents not until early last year, 2017, I got a two-years contract employment visa to Dubai.
Since then it has not been so easy, especially the emotions and dreams we share together. It has always been 'please come back' every now and then. 

I have tried my best to convince her that I'm been real, and as soon as I come back, I'll do the needful. This has even made me abort my plans of considering travelling out to seek greener pastures after my contract here elapses in April 2018.

Recently, I got to hear a shocking thing about her through my friend here in Dubai. 

He told me that his friend whom I know in Nigeria confided in him about the funny moves of my girlfriend. He said a lot of things of which I had to forward their chat to my whatsapp for better understanding and evidence.

In their chat, his friend asked my girlfriend about me, and she denied ever knowing me. His friend also said in summary that she (my girlfriend) told him she was two years younger. That she'd like both of them to go into a relationship. 
Each time he brings up my name to her, she gets pissed off.

The good thing about the whole thing is that the guy frowned at her lies and deceit. He happens to worship in the same church with her and he stated that he has decided to stop seeing her.

Uptil now I'm yet to find a good way to open it up to her.

I wish to also let you know that I love her and I don't want to keep her waiting longer than she has waited. 

I'm also sitting on the fence as to renewing my contract; going back to naija, wedding her and going back to Dubai to work.

Please advise me on what you think is right to do.
Thank you.

It is only 'normal' for a lady to lose hope waiting for her love, when it seems like her plans are crashing before her eyes, and her biology clock is ticking away. 
She may pretend to be happy and understandable with you, but we still live in a culture where every lady is expected to be married at a certain age in her life, and where that is not forthcoming, families and friends will start conducting unsolicited prayers for her. 
So let me start with you, how realistic do you think that it will be convenient for you to marry her within the shortest possible time, say six months to one year from now? If you decide to come back, marry her, and then continue with your work, how will you be able to cope with your finances? 
If you work towards relocating to another country, how do you hope to bring her to your location, or will she have to stay in Nigeria while you hustle for years? 
If you come around, get married, do you hope to take her to your location or you wish to keep her in Nigeria and visit as often as possible? 
The truth is that she's trying as much as possible to fix her life, especially when she knows that a man can pull amazing stunts and she will be left to cry and regret her patience. 
Try and fix these loose ends, then travel down and meet her. You don't need to discuss those chats on the phone, because if you are not presenting a realistic, time-based plan, then you shouldn't be mad at her for considering an alternative. 
When you meet with her, then you can present your plan, and express your displeasure at her attitude towards your friend. 
I genuinely understand your feelings and personal plans for your relationship and your finances, but if you look at that beautiful 19-years-old lady that you fell in love with and the 29-years-old lady who genuinely desires to settle down and have her own children, you will understand that she is only doing what she feels will save her from heartbreak and pain. 
Put your house together, and please give her one more reason to smile and be happy for choosing to wait for you amongst other men.

3 comments:

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  3. My wife was so smooth at hiding his infidelity and I had no proof for months, I saw a recommendation about a Private investigator  and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating wife’s text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone conversations was linked directly to my cellphone. (worldcyberhackers@gmail.com ) Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on him and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..if your wife is an expert at hiding his cheating adventures contact Mr James

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