Thursday, February 8, 2018

How Do I Get Hubby to Talk to Me?

Sister, good day! Hope you are fine. I just need someone to talk to because I am scared and confused.
I took in recently, and my husband warned that I should not disclose to anyone yet. I agreed and haven't, until recently my mum called. I have not been feeling well, I ran some test and I had typhoid. When she called, my voice was so down, she asked what was wrong with me, and I told her I wasn't feeling well. She asked further and I said I had typhoid. She asked if I have taken in, I said yes. I didn't just want to say no cos there was a baby and I wanted it and it was my mom.
After the call, I felt bad, very terrible, I wished she had not called. I did something like this in the past, but I hid it from my hubby, did not want him to find out and he has advised I should not be hiding things I do from him. I thought of not to tell him I told my mom mistakenly, but I was afraid if he found out, he will be disappointed in me.
I decided to tell him how it happened, I was still on call explaining when he dropped his call on me. I texted to explain how it happened, that it wasn't intentional, but he has ignored me and my calls since Monday.
I am still very sick, I have apologized thousand times, all to no avail. I can get so emotional, and I am scared it may affect my baby, I don't know what to do, I did not mean to disrespect him. Now it's over three days, he hasn't even asked after me nor my health.
When he ignores me for days, there is one thing that I am sure he does, he will start cheating and flirting with women. I discovered this side of him when I was dating him, we got married last two months and we have not had any quarrel till now, please what do I do?

Do you realize that your are in an emotionally unhealthy marriage? Do you know that your husband is manipulating you against your own health and peace of mind? 
I understand how much you love your husband, and you are doing everything to please him, serve him, and submit to his highness. 
But you also need to understand that you need some breathing room to be human, to make mistakes, to grow, and to learn from your own experience. 
Telling your own mother that you are pregnant and down with typhoid fever, is not a 'mistake' that is sufficient enough for your husband to keep malice for days or for him to have the license to cheat as will. 
You need to wake up, this is not love, nope, you are only setting yourself up to be manipulated and abused by your husband. 
Being down with typhoid and at the same time pregnant, you need the experience of your mother and the counsel of your family doctor. Else, you may end up losing your baby or perhaps losing yourself, if you don't seek the right help you need. 
You need to own yourself, love yourself, and be conscious of the fact that you are not an extension of your husband, but an entity with the capacity and ability to make some decision in your best interest. 
If you don't check this emotional abuse/blackmail, he may end up turning you into a slave without any form of self respect or value.
Since you have apologized and he's keeping malice against you, please give him some space and focus on your health and safety of your baby. 
If he doesn't provide the necessary support you need or talk to you for a long period of time, please consider returning to your family, and take care of yourself. You need peace of mind and good health to be able to carry your baby to term, not a man who makes you feel like you don't have anything good to offer.

1 comment:

  1. My Husband was so smooth at hiding his infidelity and I had no proof for months, I was referred to Private investigator  and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating husband's text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone calls conversations was linked directly to my cellphone. ( Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on him and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..if your husband is an expert at hiding his cheating adventures contact him


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