Tuesday, April 10, 2018

His Attitude is Driving me Crazy!

Well hi, my problem is, I have been with a guy from June 2006, he is really nice, trustworthy, a no-nonsense person, fun,  basically everything, he also really loves God and takes his ministry as a musician and the church builder seriously. Everything was good till January 2017 when he left to work in Montego Bay with a pastor. He's always busy and seemingly doesn't have time for me, I remember in April, thereabout, I was talking to him on WhatsApp, he was online and he wasn't talking to me so it made me become frustrated. It seemed as though he nearly got fired because I had called his work office, I know I shouldn't but I just needed some closure. He replied in June saying that things are going separately, and he can't do this no more and he blocked me.
So I spoke to his mother, to try to talk to him, she did which was how I found out that I would have caused him to lose his job. She spoke to him and he said I must have patience, well, everytime that is what he says.
I had a proper conversation with him in December, not really proper but better compared to other times. He actually spoke to me, I felt as though I'm becoming a  burden because every time I tell him how I feel, and when I make sure to tell him that I still love him and want to be there for him, he doesn't express the same sentiments to me, instead he says he will explain what's happening in due time.
I don't want to be impatient but this is becoming a real drag for me, I don't want to push him away from me with my actions, but I really love him and want us to work together.
He said in March, one night after church that he would tell me his evaluation and report on moving forward. He only said theres a way in which one can achieve a sense of purpose and nothing more. He said he's on fasting till May 3 and will talk to me after but I doubt he'll find time.
He did not visit me for Christmas and it has been a year. I don't think he's cheating and I love him so much and I don't think he loves me the same. I get miserable waiting but I don't want to walk away from something good. What should I do?
He usually picks my calls and talk, but now only text and only when I text first, so sometimes I wonder if he evens remember me. I tell him how I feel a lot and all he keeps saying is in due time I'll explain. I don't know how long due time is and if he even explains stuff will we even start talking and texting back frequently. 
I know he's busy but I don't think you can be too busy for someone you really care about. I wonder if he's trying to test if I'm worthy to be a potential mate but it's driving me crazy. It's been a year now, and I don't know how he feels about me.
What should I do? 
Regards,
D


Dear D, 
If he's a good man, he won't torture you with silence, neglect, or keep you in suspense. He will be honest enough to share his decision with you or at least be specific about his plans for the relationship or for you. 
If he's a good man to you, you won't be tensed, worried, and emotionally unstable, instead you will have peace of mind, and assurance that you are building your future with your best friend and companion. 
If you can't tell exactly what your position is in his life, what his vision is for the relationship, and where the relationship was headed, then you can at least take your own destiny in your hands by deciding to give yourself a direction or vision. 
It is totally unacceptable for an adult to subject his or herself to the decision of another adult, that's the simplest definition of manipulation and tyranny. 
Instead of frustrating yourself with an expectation you are not certain of, why not consider the alternative and save yourself from the drama? 
He's a good man, he's godly, he's fun to be with, and he's your dream man, but also remember that he may not actually be your own future husband. 
Wake up, you can smell the coffee, just don't ignore the aroma, to avoid disappointment or embarrassing outcome. 
There is no benefit in waiting for a partner who may have different plan or vision from your own expectations. 
I know that you love him so much, maybe you should consider loving yourself so little that you don't allow any human to frustrate your life emotionally. 
When you love yourself that much, you will know when to wait and when to walk away. 
Good luck

1 comment:

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