I am an ardent reader of your page now blog. I wrote you before but you did not answer or post it. Please post this one I need an answer please,i also wish to be anonymous. I started dating a guy recently,okay before I started dating him I was considering the fact that he was kind of short but I was like am not going for the height but the person,then he gave me his laptop and I was just going through it and discovered he had a relationship he didn't tell me about while he was doing his masters but told me about a few.
What borders me most is that he tells me that he has seen everything he wants in a woman in me and I read that he told that other lady same and all.
The relationship is just like two weeks old. Am just scared. I don't know if I should just avoid him or just ignore it as one of those things because asking him is not like an option for me. I don't want to be stuck with a womanizer and I started to like him.
He is a really calm and kind person but I fear the extent at which men or human beings get to pretend and all. Please kindly notify me when you post this.
Dear sender,
One thing you must as a matter of necessity avoid in your relationship is assumptions.
It destroys everything relationship stands for.
It breeds mistrust, fears, worries and false accusations in your relationship.
If there be anything you feel he did not tell you, ask questions and do not pretend you did not see anything.
Find out what exactly was in his laptop before you make your conclusions about his personality.
Just like you, he had a past and understanding how his past was will help you appreciate his personality today and grow with him.
Open up and do not cage your conscience, communicate with him and do not be afraid of him.
Men can pretend but not all men do pretend, there is always an exception to our perception and what we believe will inevitably be what we will live with.
When you make communication part of your relationship, you will overcome fears and worries like these.
I don't really imbibe the "question &answer attitude of the past" in relationship. But if u can deal with any"ans" u got from any"question of previous relationship" then good for u. But for me! If am startn a relationship 2day! Is new 2 me nd dt person is also new to me! And as such, we nuture nd build dt "our union" and not "their union.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, just like Anty amara said," there is exception to every perception. Tnks