Women and Childbirth

Women and Childbirth

It is sad seeing the number of women we lose daily as a result of complications during child delivery. The hospitals are doing their best to educate couples on how best to deal with certain situations before, during, and after childbirth; God bless our nurses and doctors.

 But there are three major issues that have continuously led to the death of women and their babies;

Finance

Religion

Culture

Finance

Let us start with the issue of finance. A good number of Nigerians do the wrong things, not because they don’t know it is wrong, but because of poverty. Ours is a society where the government cares less about the health of the masses. This is one nation where people work like elephants and eat as ants.

This has led many
educated Nigerians into behaving uneducated. When a man looks into his pocket and finds out he has no money to pay for some emergencies during delivery, he, most times, go for the cheapest option and as we know, the cheapest option may not be the right option.

I have seen ladies get threatened by their husbands not to return to the house if they don’t give birth to a male child. A lady in this kind of situation will choose to deliver the baby the normal way to avoid incurring the man’s wrath. This is one of the reasons ladies should be independent as that helps in cases like this. You should also learn to put your feet down when it comes to your life; choose the right hospital. And sir, you are the one responsible for the sex of the baby, stop disturbing the poor woman. 

Religion

Like the Holy Bible says, my people perish for lack of knowledge. It is sad that Nigerians have suddenly turned their religious leaders to God. We now go to church, not to know God, but for the approval of the pastor. We no longer spend quality time in the study of the word of God. We no longer struggle to have a personal relationship with God and so whatever the pastor tells us is the truth.

We live in a time when there are wolves, a good number of them, in sheep’s clothing. A greater number of people parading themselves as pastors are nothing but deceivers and agents of darkness. This is why I keep shouting and telling whoever cares to listen; be careful and stop running to men like you for help over every little thing. Many Nigerians today are living in fear and total confusion. They cannot even step out of their house without asking the pastor for a vision and prophecy.

Many Nigerians are very lazy when it comes to self development and this is one weakness that the so called pastors are taking advantage of. You have suddenly become lazy that you can no longer study the Bible and pray for yourself.

Pastors should be careful how they spiritualize every problem people go through. Many have lost their lives because of the ignorance of our pastors. Like a pastor friend once said; “The problem with the church is that pastors now assume every title, with no training, they now function as trained counsellors, doctors…” That one is a pastor doesn’t mean he is a counsellor.

I remember a very rich business man who died some years back because he had to obey his pastor’s instruction refusing to allow the doctor put him on drip. He lost his life and that same pastor is still alive today with good congregation.

Hear this woman; when next they come with that bible verse that says you will deliver like the Hebrew woman, believe it, but don’t let that blind your sense of reasoning. Faith is not a licence for foolishness; we should avoid tempting God.

If you are one of those believing you must have your baby supernaturally, you better change that mindset to avoid going the way other women like you did. Don’t kill yourself because of stubbornness. Our Doctors and nurses are not stupid people; God gave them the wisdom to be able to take care of you and your unborn child. If God is not behind medicine, He wouldn’t have allowed it come to be.

Many women get medical practitioners so upset during labour that they even lose interest in saving their lives. You should know that for the doctor to suggest surgery, he has seen some danger. That is not a time to call your ignorant pastor who, instead of asking God to have His way and use the nurses and doctors right, begins to foolishly deceive you into kicking against the doctors. You can go ahead believing them, but have it in mind that when you die, he moves on with his congregation. However God chooses to deliver you and your child is supernatural.

Culture

This is another one that has left women in miserable conditions. Some women have their pelvic muscles and bones displaced, while some are now on wheel chairs, some can no longer enjoy the man in their life just because of ignorance and timidity.

I want to use this column today to educate the Nigerian woman. I can remember, at least two women who lost their lives because they were trying to prove a point. A very good friend of mine, she gave me my business name, lost her life all in bid to have a male child. The doctors warned my friend, her husband who loved her dearly did everything to let her know he loved her just like that. The man had her kids in top schools here in Lagos, she was running the man’s accounts and there is nothing he didn’t do to get her relaxed.

Culture; these beautiful children became motherless, and their father, a widower. My friend had the baby boy, but lost her life just two days after delivery.

Another woman I know died during labour for her first child just because she was trying to let her friends know she is a woman. She insisted on having her child the “normal way”. When the consultant gynaecologist told her she was going to have her baby through caesarean section, she turned deaf ears to his warnings. Just a week to her EDD, she decided to leave the hospital where she did her ante-natal to another one where the doctor assured her she was going to have her baby normal. The rest is history as she didn’t leave the labour room alive.

You don’t have to prove any point to anyone. If you lose your health or your life in that process of childbirth, no one is going to go through it with you. If the doctors tell you not to have more children, please don’t go ahead to try for a son. If your husband is too crazy about you having a son, let him do whatever he wants to do (he determines the sex of the baby because he has XY chromosomes while you have XX), but you have to stay alive to train the ones you have.

Don’t blame anyone for your own mistake.