Monday, June 29, 2015

He just won't commit; what's next for me?

I am a 27 years old lady and am dating a guy of 29 years. 
we have dated for seven years and we are happy together although all these years of our relationship we haven't talked about marriage but early this year i decided to bring up the issue because he is making plans to leave Nigeria for the U.K for further studies and he will be leaving by September. 
When i asked him his plans for me, he said marriage is not part of his plans for now that he does not foresee marriage in the next four years and he cannot make a promise to marry me because he doesn't know how long he will take before he is ready for marriage that if i see someone that is ready to marry me i should go ahead and marry. 
But we should continue our relationship. Am not even asking him to marry me now all i wanted was an assurance that when he is ready to marry he will marry me. 
He said he can't make a promise on something that it's still far. 
Am so in love with him and he knows. 
what do you and the house advice i do.
He also said if am still single up till when he is ready for marriage he might marry me for now he is not sure of anything that has to do with marriage.
Whether the person or the time
Thank you.

Dear sender,
Normally when we see what we cherish or love so much, we desire to have them and when we feel its within our reach, we possess it simply because we love to have it forever.
However when a partner sounds so casual, all friendly and free to mingle, its a sign of commitment phobia and it also means that there may be no future in the relationship.
Also it maybe that he's just being honest of what he could do and cannot do and from your mail,he doesn't sound like someone who would commit himself to you talkless of marriage.
The check book however is with you and so is your pen.
Take your time and weigh the consequences and the cost of any decision you take with respect to this.
Just a reminder, in four years time you would be 31,can your love for him really endure the distance,the pressure and the time you would commit to this relationship?
Talk to God about this and ask him for wisdom,understanding and grace guide you at this critical stage of your life.


  1. Kai...... This guy has indirectly told you he can't marry you and if at all he should, you'll be his last option. My dear, move on #that's all

  2. I love this guy coz he will be one of d 1% of truthful guys. He is plain nd straightforward. Poster, you are lucky he told u d fact. What if he promise u everything and on getting there, it's another story? Find your way out of it and move on. You are 27

  3. The guy doesn't want any commitment and to be frank with you just move on and be prayerful,your husband will come for you

  4. Dear poster you heard him well, do move on with your life he is not planing of getting married yet and cannot marry you. Do not be deceived leave him now move on. #Ella

  5. He said it all, what else do you want to hear from him? He is indeed an honest young man and I love him for that. If you want to wait for him, you may end up waiting till eternity..... be wise young girl!!


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