Thursday, June 11, 2015

His attitude changed when I got a federal government job.

Good evening Aunty Amara. Please I need your enlightenment on my relationship with my fiance whom I've  dated for almost two years. It is a long distance relationship and we are doing fine. He is schooling in one of the Nigerian universities,writing his final exams and i'm working here in lagos.. We planned on getting married before the  end of this year and settling down in Ibadan.
I am an HND holder and I wanted to go for my degree in UI after settling down. I realized his attitude changed towards me after getting a federal government job here in lagos just because I tried convincing him to let us settle in lagos cos of my job. But he's insisting he was stay in Ibadan and I stay in lagos that he wouldn't mind shuffling ibadan and lagos (and it's not as if he has something doing in Ibadan). I am confused on this because i felt the distance while married wont be so good for us. Please I need you all to advise me on what to do. Please notify me when posted. Thanks in anticipation.
Dear sender, 
Your had an agreement with him on where you two would settle after wedding so I do not feel he was unfair to you but with the recent development, plead with him and do not try to convince him that because he doesn't have anything doing, he would have to live in Lagos with you. 
I feel he was worried because you didn't acknowledge the agreement you made with him. 
This is not time to remind him that he is still in school but a time to discuss and plead with him so that he can make the structural adjustment. 
Give him some time and pray about it. 
He may not be comfortable because he may be afraid that someday you may remind him that you brought him to Lagos. 
This is both sensitive and delicate so please do not crush his ego in the process. 
Pray about this and continue to plead for his support assuring him of your respect, love and loyalty to him. 
I feel it's best if you and your partner stay in the same place to avoid any temptation and stress of living apartment. 
I can only pray for the very best for you and him. 


  1. Mrs. AVL has said it all..... Good one!

  2. Sis Amara indeed said it all,dont use that line'hes not doing anything' it will worsen the case,you can only talk it out.


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