Saturday, June 20, 2015

I am confused don't really know what to do!

Good morning Anuty,help me post this.I'm a guy of 26 years and deeply in love with a lady of 25 years.
I started dating her around 2012 and It went too serious in 2014 when I vowed to her that I will get married to her comes 2017 and she also vowed to wait for me till then.
Ever since I started dating her,I have never heard the feelings of loving another girl(even when we quarrelled).
she have some guys that are asking her out cos she's pretty and cool,she do tell me about these guys that do ask her out. Sometime last three months,I went to her apartment and saw a set of provision (cos I'm the one that do buy it for her)and asked her the person that bought it for her she told me that it was one of those guys that asked her out(she do tell me that she can never date any other guy apart from me).
We quarrelled cos of that and also settled and I warned her to stop any communications she have with those guys and she promised to do so.
Aunty I'm seriously confused as I'm typing, just last two weeks,we also quarelled cos of the same issue.I went through her WhatsApp and Facebook only to discover that she still chats with those guys and even all of her EX and still visit and accept gift from them.

I was seriously mad,when I called her attention(cos she came to my apartment)she started crying and promised again that she will block and stop taliking to them,I even pleaded to her for shouting at her and we made up again
Just around 7.33pm last night,I went to her facebook and saw her chat with one of those guys that asked her out,when he told her that he will visit her 3days ago.(And this one knows me too well cos he lives around her apartment,he do sees me but I have not seen him before)I put a call to her and asked her when last she saw the guy,she told me the truth and told me that he was the only guy among those guys I warned her to lose contact with that she still calls and visit and I can't not stop her from doing that,Aunty this what she sent to me.
That guy is my friend,you can't do anything to stop that,the earlier you know that,the better for you,he's not a threat to you,you have to get used to it.
I ended the call on her last night,she did not flash nor call back till now,she was supposed to visit me this weekend. Aunty I'm seriously confused now,don't really know what to do.
please help me.Thanks.

Dear sender, 
How much do you really trust your partner and why are you so much afraid that she may cheat on you. 
Why do you feel that monitoring and checking up on her on hourly basis will secure her for you? 
Or do you have so much time to spare and you want to channel it all to her? 
No doubt she isn't doing greatly with the way she's keeping chains of friends but I feel that you need to be a man and give her some breathing space. 
You have vowed, promised and have committed yourself to her, it's time you let her know you aren't as idle as she thought. 
If possible stop checking up all her account, do not get worked up with every greetings or compliments she receives from men. 
As long as she is beautiful and a lady, it's natural that men will always desire to talk to her and love to marry her. 
The later part of her statement suggested that she was in love with you and she can't cheat on you with that friend of hers. 
Where you need to work on more is on your communication skills, instead of having more quarrelling time, make it more fun times. 
Try taking her out to where she can be free and happy to open up to you. 
Don't ask many questions, simply dwell on compliments and shower her as much as you can remember. 
Always remind her of her smiles, her charm, her beauty,her intelligence and her character. 
She will be surprised what you are up to. 
Celebrate her with the little you have and remember, you won't compete with any man for your own wife. 
Spend time in your closet praying for your relationship and spend more time learning more about her personality. 
Instead of warning, suggest, instead of instructing  joke over it. 
When you need to pour out your heart, do not do it over the phone,meet with her and discuss your fears. 
When you are angry, do not shout if possible instead take a walk. 
When you have won her heart, no man can convince her otherwise but if you force yourself or your love on her, you may scare her away from you. 
Take your time and let her naturally desire you, that way, you will enjoy the relationship. 

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