Saturday, June 13, 2015

I asked him for money and he stopped talking to me.

Good morning ma,  . I am an ardent fan of yours  though I don't comment. I wrote to you one time but due to the grammatical errors, I got a lot of insults and few advice.  I met this guy last year  he seemed to be my very definition of hubby .We were good friends .
I am a lady of 26 years in a relationship with a guy of 32 years he is staying in London, we met on Facebook last year April since then we always talked and we always skype. We became good friends we chat always, we exchanged numbers and started talking on phone daily, he invited his sister to come see me where I was staying, I met with the sister we talked and since then we have always checked up on each other.
Since I met this guy we have been good friends we even talk about how many children he wants and the names he wants for the kids all I keep saying to him is if it's the will of God, but what I noticed from him is that any thing I say he uses it against me and he is not the type that tells you, that what you did is wrong whenever I make him angry he stops calling for like two weeks but whenever such a thing happens I will be the one to always call and send text to him that am sorry. But this time he has refused to call me back, what really happened this last time is my sister wedding was coming up and I asked him for money to buy some things he said OK and since then he stopped calling me or replying my message .
Please what do I do I have called him several times he didn't pick I have also sent him messages on facebook and also on his phone no reply yet, I even complained to his sister she was like have I ever talked to his brother about fashion I said yes that we talk about a lot of things. She was like the brother complained that am still into fashion that am not like someone that wants to settle down because she said her brother told her that I want to pierce my nose, I told her that this I said I might not even do it in life just that am saying it  doesn't mean I will do it

Dear sender, 
I don't know if he was meant to bring money for the wedding of your sister. I also cannot tell the manner and way you requested for his support. That a man is in London doesn't necessarily mean that he's got a lot of pounds sterling to distribute at will. 
Simply apologise if you  can and give him some time to decide what is best for him. You don't need to kill yourself over that and you don't have to reduce your dignity over this. 
You need to spend some quality time to understand the kind of a man you are dating. You need to understand his perceptions and views about some certain things so that you do not end up scaring him away or making him afraid of the future. 
Some men may not tell you what their fears maybe but they would go out and discuss that with their relatives or friends. For his sister to ask you about fashion indicates that there could be something about the way you dress that doesn't make him happy. 
It doesn't mean that you have to change yourself but you can do well to know what his perception is and see what you can adjust to meet his need half way. 
Please be mindful of the things you say and how you communicate them to him. 
The manner and the way you communicate with him matters a lot more than what you are saying. 
Make sure issues are discussed and do not let them exceed that day. 
Always tell him how you feel and do not pretend or try to suppress them. 
In all, you need wisdom, patience, understanding and God's grace to be able to influence him positively and also strengthen your relationship with him. 

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