Monday, June 29, 2015

Low Self-esteem in Women

When I talk about self-esteem, I am talking about a feeling of being happy with yourself, your ability, and your character. People have lost so many things in life; opportunities have slipped away, cherished relationships lost all because of this disease-Low Self-Esteem. 

I pray and I encourage people to pray. I believe in the power of prayer because we cannot make it in this wicked world without God. But there are situations and problems we should naturally find solutions to instead of running to prayer contractors for solution; all we need is a change of attitude. Stop spiritualizing everything. Friends, there are things God can do for us and there are others we must handle ourselves because He has given us that ability.

People graduate with good grades and are not able to secure any good job. So many good and hardworking ladies are all over the place feeling sad and passing blames on people for their misfortune. Girl, it may not be what your prayer contractor has brainwashed you to believe. Nobody is chasing you my dear and even if they do, there is greater power in the blood of Jesus Christ.

Okay; you believe it's because you are ugly. I don't believe there's any woman ugly. And even if you think you are, look around and you will find those not-so-beautiful ladies in high places. 

You have a job interview or
a business meeting and you make no preparation for it. Your hair is not well taken care of. Your dress is not properly ironed. Some don’t even consider their body type before buying clothes. You dress anyhow, you walk anyhow. Your image, first impression you give people about you, goes a long way in deciding your fate in life.  It is not about the hair covering; there are women who cover their hair but still look very charming. 

You keep disturbing your religious leaders for prayers. Please give them some rest and time to attend to more important issues. After all the prayers and the interview date comes, what do you make out of it? You can’t even face the interviewers. You made first class in school, so what? If you keep relying on your good grades academic qualifications, you will remain the way you are until you make necessary changes.

Stop blaming your ordeal on the whole witches in your village. Step up girl and make things happen in your life. I don’t believe there is anyone better than Amarachi. You call it pride; I call it high self-esteem. You can enter any place and come out with results. It all has to do with your carriage and presentation.

Some of us cannot even look at faces of people when we want to say hello. You have to train yourself to be able to relate with people you meet. You can have whatever kind of friends you want. There is no magic to it. If you have very high self-esteem; If you present yourself a polished and cultured person with God’s favour, people will continually get attracted to you.

Let us look at the area of our relationships. It is low self-esteem that will make you spend time thinking of someone who doesn't even remember you exist and by the time you know what is happening, you begin to plan evil against her. Women have destroyed each other because of low self-esteem which often times lead to jealousy.

What on earth will make a mature woman begin to envy another. When are women going to grow up to start minding their own business? Small minds discuss people, great minds discuss issues. You find yourself spending so much time and energy to pull another woman down; that's because you have a very low self-esteem. You don’t talk about people who are under you, you only talk about that other woman because she is greater than you and you know it. Hate her, like her; the truth is that each time you look at her, you only see that woman you struggle so hard to become but can't.

Women have left friends brought into their lives by God to help them become better due to low self-esteem. You attend parties together and because she comes out best dressed, you see yourself avoiding her. You know that other woman is more intelligent when it comes to handling certain issues, instead of you to humbly learn from her, you take a walk. People  always get attracted to her each time you step out and instead of you appreciating her and praying for such grace, you begin to plan her downfall. Well, you need her more than she does.

I marvel when I see women create time to go through their man’s phone. I don’t know why you do that, but I don’t think you should deliberately call for your death. Why make yourself go through unnecessary emotional torture? It is low self-esteem that makes you want to know all the people your husband talked to during the day. Even his female business partners get harassed by you.

Some women stoop as low as calling their husband’s girlfriend on phone and engaging them. Remember this; that lady has nothing at stake. Why confront another lady because of a man? You have issues with the man in your life, not the lady out there. If you are one of such people, all I can say is that you get busy and occupied with something meaningful. 

Some shameless women go down the extent of fighting other women because of their husband. You think you are disgracing the lady, but in the actual sense, you are destroying the reputation of your man. I remember a family friend who got news about the husband’s affair with another lady. She went to his office to fight the lady.
The husband entered there and saw her fighting his girlfriend. The man gave her the beating of her life. She lost her three months pregnancy with the beating. On getting home that evening, the man threw her out of the house and got married to his girlfriend. I keep telling people to be careful with their relationship so as not to lose that thing they cherish so much. People have lost what they so much cherish and tried so hard to protect all because they had no control over their emotions.

If you believe you are good enough for that man, you won’t bother yourself so much about his life. All you owe him is prayer. Some women don’t want to see their man laugh with another woman. What is your problem? Did you get that man though some crooked means?  Is God not behind it? Why are you putting the man through hell just because you have to keep him?

Girl, you need to grow up. Work on your self-esteem and stop making life miserable for the poor man. You may have to change your friends before you can work on your self-esteem. Changing your friends has nothing to do with how rich or poor they are. So many of the rich still suffer from this terrible disease. Start associating with people who discuss positive and life changing issues when you are in their company.

Low self-esteem is what pushed you into belonging to that particular group that is doing nothing to build your life the positive way. It has made you believe you cannot exist without those friends. If I may ask; what do you gain from such friendships? So you have friends just for you to gather, party, drink, and gossipy about successful women who are doing great things in our world? What a miserable life.

A good number of people are into relationships that are destroying their lives negatively. Some young girls are into relationships with men who have no regard for them. He treats you so bad even before marriage and you are afraid to take a walk out of that relationship. Your mind keeps telling you there is no good life for you without him. You have lost your individuality and now live under his shadow. You can take anything just to be addressed as 'Mrs'?

You can make it without anybody. Nobody is your God in this life. Believe in yourself. Even if you have failed twenty times, it doesn’t matter. It is not in the number of times you failed; it is in your ability to bounce back after the failure. Never allow anybody treat you as a second class citizen.

Are you a widow, divorcee, or never married. If you are not careful people will make you begin to see yourself a total failure. The loss of a partner does not mean the end of your life. It is just the beginning of a new phase of life for you. Your school mates are all top executives in oil and gas companies, so what? Whenever you wake up is your own morning. Please make today your morning and get into the fight for survival.



  1. Kai,when I open the page and see how long the write up is I said to myself I can't read it all but after I read the first paragraph I realised that I need to read it all. And it teaches me a great lessons.thanks ma'am's.

  2. Loving the last paragraph.


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