Sunday, June 21, 2015

My husband hasn't been talking to me anymore.

Hello ma,how are you? Guess good? 
Please I need your advice and that of the house. do I handle a man who is on his phone 24 hours a day? 
We don't have good conversations at home. 
He prefers to be on his own,if you want to talk with him,he will say "babe leave me abeg" 
2.My husband feels he knows it all,when he goes to pick our daughter from school,he buys her cold blocked ice cream everyday,then later she will have cold and cattarh at night,giving me sleepless night,when I complain,he will shun me. 
3. He is fond of going to my kitchen and checking the things then go to the market and buy them.
He buys the wrong things without asking me. When I have already written the list of things we need at home he won't collect it. 
Then brags outside that he helps me go to the market and then his friends will start telling me that I have got the best husband. 

He buys the children's clothes,buys mine too he has never given me money to buy my choice,he buys what he feels like. 
4. I am a graduate but I haven't gotten any job but I have a passion for make up so I told my husband that I wanted to learn make up,the next day ,he went to pay one quack woman to teach me make up and this woman didn't teach the right thing,when I complained,he didn't answer me.,yet he brags outside that he paid for me to learn make-up.
5. Anytime my husband wants to get a contract or business,he must announce it to all his friends and later nothing will work out and he will come and tell me that its because am not prayerful that's why it didn't work. 
6. He said he wants to go into entertainment since then he goes to all clubs,he doesn't sleep at home,he comes back the next day. His kids hardly see him and when I complained,he slapped me and said I should get out of his house if I don't like his coming home late,I slapped him back and told him not to ever slap me again and he hit me.I called his family and told them what he did,they were calling him but he refused to pick.
My husband doesn't have any regard for anyone. I know a lot of people will say did you guys court? Yes we courted for three years and didn't imagine anything like this. 
7. I and my dad are very close,we talk on phone everyday,my husband complains that my dad is calling me too much. 
To cut it short,since the day he slapped me and I slapped him back,he hasn't been talking to's almost four months now.
I have asked for forgiveness ,he said,we should be living like flat mates that its because of the kids that we are staying together. 
Please I need your advice
Dear sender, 
I cannot view the world with one eye which was Why God made it two. I would love to hear from him so that I would understand exactly what is going on in your home. 
From the little you wrote, it's obvious that communication is dead in your home. 
You have taken your husband for granted and have stopped appreciating his personality. 
You now feel that you have equal right with him which has made you not only to disrespect him but to also slap him back. 
My dear when two husbands live in one house, it's the children that suffer most. 
If after three years of courtship and more years of marriage, you don't know some of the weaknesses and strength of your husband, I feel you didn't do your home work very well. 
He may not be doing so greatly but a little appreciation and compliments would have made you have your way. 
As a lady and a responsible wife, you don't get things from your husband by complaining and nagging him every now and then. 
You don't get things from him with force but with a lot of praises and ego massaging. 
You have your beautiful body to use to your advantage, you have delicious meals to wake up the hungry boy in him. 
You have the time to simply have fun with him but I feel you are busy writing down the list of his errors. 
You need to return to courtship, learn to adore and celebrate him, you would need to now go all out and woo him back to you to avoid losing him to a strange woman who's willing to do what you couldn't do and even better. 
It's time for you to humble yourself and pick up those things that make your man happy. 
It's time for you to kneel down and pray and minimise your time with friends and family to build your home. 
It's time to revive the passion in love making and romance and remind him of why he's the best. 
When you have won his heart, then you can then get him to do what you desire not the other way round. 
Marriage is a journey of two mature responsible and focused partners who have the need of others in their heart and are willing to let go of self to meet the needs of the home and that of each partner. 
You have a greater role to play as the mother and wife to ensure that this home doesn't collapse. 


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