Sunday, June 21, 2015

What Jealousy Cost Me!

Good evening Aunt Amara and all Avlites.
I wish to share my life story so that women/ladies out there can learn from my mistake that cost me to lose my baby father to another woman except if God intervene.
Kindly overlook my grammatical errors because am shedding hot tears as am typing this.

Am a lady of 25 years.
Of a truth, I got pregnant for him in my final year just few month after we met. There were forces from his family that I should get rid of the pregnancy because my baby father has no job at the moment to fend for me & the baby.
I stood my ground with faith that I will not abort the pregnancy with the support of his mother and my family I was able to nurture the baby till nine months and to the glory of the Lord I successfully gave birth to a very handsome boy.

He was happy to hear the news of course, he was so glad that I made him a father not just a father but a responsible father.

Hmmmnnn, we did only introduction during the course of the pregnancy and I never bothered him for wedding in as much as I believed that the fruit of marriage is Children. And God has already blessed  me with one.

He asked me to move in with him during my service year so that will can both look after his son. I was glad with the advice and I moved in.
Oh no! if only God has sent me a Prophet not to move in with him I would have followed suit.
Avlites, believe me moving in with him spoiled our three years of courtship.
He is a stammerer and  temperamental. Am also temperamental person but not up to his. I Love him, I share all I have with him to the extent that I stylishly tax my parent every month. Am doing all these because I could see he has a bright future, he is hardworking and am ready to suffer with him till when everything would be ok.
Because am the kind of  lady that prefer hardworking struggling man to a ready-made man that I don't know the source of his wealth.
I moved in with him during my service year. He was always trying to take care of me & his son. But I used my allowance and my monthly pocket money to buy foodstuff, pay for monthly NEPA bill and other miscellaneous expenses.
But few months after I moved in I noticed he always password his phone in the  house. I felt so uncomfortable with this and I pleaded with  him in the midnight to please stop that act that he can always get rid of any chat or call logs that he feels is not right for me to see. My man disagreed and told me never will he do that, because we are not yet married. I still have my freedom and he still have his own freedom as well. I was shocked at his response. He went as far as telling me I will die if I should see the way he chats with girls most especially his ex's. I begged him to please put an end to such chat for the  sake of his son and for me to gain respect in the  sight of those girls.
Believe me he refused and even made it known to me that am not in the position to dictate for him.
A man I so much Love & respect would be requesting for the nude pictures and voice notes of his ex and will be sending them voice notes as well. I got to know this the day I discovered his password and I secretly unlocked his phone without his knowledge. Yes, my attempt caused a lot of trouble. His family got to know that I called one of his ex warning her to stay off my man and she should be mindful of her chat with my man. They were so angry even though they didn't bother to ask me the reason for my actions.
I pleaded for my ignorant act though he took him some month before he forgave me.
This was a man of 34 years, but it shocked me that he could be exposing my mistakes to his family & friends. Yet I still tried to live with the shame.
He suddenly changed that he started going out to drink with his friends and he will be pretending as if his friends are the one paying the bills. He started doing shopping for himself, new shoes, new clothes (expensive one) claiming he want to be looking good at his place of work despite his low salary.
He said he wanted the staff to see that he doesn't feed on the low salary alone. I love him appearing so good in fact so many times that I will have to select what he should wear to work. 
I discovered daily that My spirit was somehow attached to his phone. I made another mistake again after few months of pleading. It was a call from me to his friend Girlfriend I thought he was the one dating the girl because of the message I Saw because it was directly sent from the girl's phone.
I quickly saved the number on my phone and I tried calling the girl to ask if she was going out with my man, I never shout ed on her or insulted her but her response left me with a doubting mind.
She called my man to inform him about what I did.
Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so bittered when my man made a statement that he doubt if he can live with this jealousy act in me.
I pleaded, I pleaded, I pleaded, I cried out my heart that he should please forgive me. But it was too late for me to discover that am off his mind and he has diverted his mind to another lady. We once has a misunderstanding one night that he blew me thrice on my chest I was rescued by our neighbour but yet the blow still landed me in the hospital the next morning.

To cut the story short, he totally changed to me and his son in the house, he stopped coming home after work to sleep, he never cared about how I feed and he stylishly sent me and his a year old son packing after my passing out parade, changed the lock to his entrance gate. He forwarded a text to me that night that it was over, I almost collapsed in the bus but the smile on my beloved son heals my wound. He sent another text to my parent that he can't marry me because am not a wife material to him and even warned me to stop calling his parent to stop calling his parent to help me talk to him. He also warned me never to go near his parents house that who am I to go to his parent's house.
In addition, he sent me another text that he rebuke coming back to date me not to talk of marrying me and he also text me that his parents will die in pieces if they should try talking to him to continue our courtship. Have been living with the shame ever since then.

To the Glory of the Lord, I was able to get a Job am managing with. Have fixed my first fruit in a standard private school, but I discovered that I find it hard to love his son without his father.
I lost my first job due to excessive thinking. Especially whenever I remember those hurtful words his mother said at me on phone while I was pleading and asking her to give me the opportunity to see her and explain all that happened.
So many people have heard about my breakup with my baby father and the first question they threw at me was 'Were you caught cheating with another man??" because they felt that was the only sin that can easily push out a woman from her hubby house.
This breakup is six months now, still fresh in my memory, I find it hard to like men coming my way not to talk of loving one out of them all.

I tried to message him (my baby father) last month that my heart was still open for his Love and I can't imagine myself with another man. But his response caused me more pain.

Have been praying to God to please touch his Heart and direct my path........
Am losing hope of having my baby father back.........
But I doubt if my heart can still be open for the Word called LOVE if am able to overcome this trial.
But don't forget I deeply Love my handsome son and the smile on his face heals my wound, such a very sharp boy, full of funny characters, he is Loved by lot of people.
Am just happy God bless me with such precious gift.

Once again, kindly overlook my grammatical errors but instead learn from my story. Thanks


  1. Please love yourself.The man never loved you. Why begging? You can never beg for love.where is your self confidence?? Move on and build yourself. One day you will see who will love you for you. Sorry for what you went thru.

  2. U were anxious t kn wht u shld hv known on a neutral ground. Grow from ur xperience.

  3. Babe, want me to tell you the truth: You are sick....very badly wounded,and still seeking your death. Sorry for the pains you went through - that is the result of embracing foolishness,and unfortunately,you still sound like one who wants to embrace more foolishness. Why do you keep seeking your death? Why? What you are demonstrating is not Love; it is FOOLISHNESS. Jealousy is not your problem; Ignorance and foolishness is(am even getting angry as am writing this.).

    Your man is not a husband-material. He is not a man yet. He is not worthy of you. He is not fit to be any woman's husband. He is not fit for marriage. He has nothing,but PAIN to offer you. Are you that blind? Are you that stupid? Are you still foolish - AFTER ALL YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH? AFTER EVERYTHING,YOU STILL HAVE REFUSED TO LEARN? You are dealing with an irresponsible,stupid half-man who has no respect for you,but you are busy making excuses for him,and blaming a man's foolishness on your jealousy? Why have you refused to learn? Why?

    You are suffering from foolishness. Why not embrace WISDOM and save yourself from future pain? If you continue like this,you are likely to make more mistakes. My heart bleeds for you. Go and seek healing. His name is JESUS CHRIST. Let Him healing your emotions,your mind,your self-esteem,etc.,and prepare you for a successful marriage and life.


    1. I totally support what he said. It is not your jealousy that ended the relationship, it was the man's immaturity and foolishness. For God's sake why would a woman put up with a man who is not ready to be exclusive with her? Good luck when you begin another relationship, but never make the mistake of going back. He is nothing but a mistake. You deserve better and if you believe it, your better half will come.

  4. You have to forget about him because he do not have a single love for you,he is not yet a man also he is not yet ready to settle down with a woman still playing games. Take your time think of what you want in your life what you want to achieve then work towards it. #Ella


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