Saturday, June 27, 2015

She was a bad girl; So what?

A woman was caught in adultery and was taken to Jesus Christ for judgement. Jesus said something that was shocking to all of the people with stones in their hands waiting to stone the woman. Jesus ignored them for a while and when he finally raised his head, he said, “he who is without sin should first cast a stone”. This statement from Jesus made the accusers of the woman to turn their back in disappointment.

Women are wonderful beings, extremely blessed by God for the heights. It recently occurred to me that a lot of great women have been destroyed because the society has refused to give them a chance to bounce back.

We have all at one time or the other gone wrong in our own little ways. We have failed both God and man at different times of our lives. But we have all put our mistakes behind us and bounced back simply because it wasn’t done in the open. But we always call on the society to bring someone out and stone her to death simply because she went the wrong way.

Why do we turn our society to
one where there is nothing called forgiveness? Why do we constantly put people down just because we want to be the number one in everything we do? Why do we, as woman, go out of our way to bring someone else down while we live like we have no sin in us? I keep saying this; women are their own greatest enemies. If we learn to celebrate and appreciate each other, the men would have no other option than join us.

Recently, I met with an older lady who was castigated by almost everyone in church. This lady was seen as one of those very bad girls who have destroyed their lives and now have no option than run into the church. She later got married to a younger person, but the marriage lasted for just about 6 years because the society and church folks wouldn’t let them be.
 I was never close to this lady; in fact, we never talked while she was in the church. But in my usual manner of moving close to the rejected and abandoned, I got her number from a friend and called her. She was very excited. All I could hear was a voice that was going through pain, but I thank God she was able to speak in the midst of the pain that had taken over her entire being. This lady shut down her business and was just there with no knowledge of what next to do. 
I gave her an appointment to see me and she did. The time she entered my house, a lady who was bubbling with so much life in her couldn’t even smile again. I had to allow her cry for as long as she could because that was going to give her a relief.
Then she opened up and told me her story. After a long stay on the wrong side of life; making money from top business men and politicians, and living a very flamboyant life, she was instructed by her late mother to make a U-turn. According to this lady, she got into so many terrible things as a result of rejection from her family after the death of her parents. At a very tender age of 15, she was abandoned to go through life alone.
She was trading and making little money to see her through school until she came in contact with some girls at the university. This was the beginning of her pain. She got into the “runs” business and became a very big girl later. She had three shops in Lagos where she sold clothes.
 According to her, nobody preached to her for a change until her late mum appeared to her (don't ask me how) and asked her to forget the past and live again. That was what led her into the church. She sold off everything and joined the church and being a committed member, got married. But they never had peace for a moment while it lasted. Her major source of pain where church members who did everything possible and finally brought the marriage to an end.
She was made to regret her decision to turn a new leaf. I am happy that after a long period of time with her and having her spend some days in my house, she is back on her feet and shinning more than ever.
She is not the only one in this situation; a lot of ladies would have come out from their present lifestyle to a new and better life if only they are sure there is a place for them in the society. I am ever grateful to Mrs. Nike Adeyemi and other women like her for taking out time to be with and care for these prostitutes and the rejected.
I want you to take out time to go close to these ones and you will see people who are not happy with the life they are living, but who are not able to see themselves out of it due to many issues beyond their control.
Are you aware that a good number of those prostitutes out there are tired of the life they live, they want to come out of it, but where will the society keep them by the time they are out? We have the ministry of women affairs in every state, but I don’t see them doing what they should be doing. The moment one gets the appointment, she throws a party for friends telling them “better don land”. She is going in there, not with a burden to help her fellow women, but to go and get her own share of the national cake.
It is sad that women are the ones in charge of these ministries, but they are heartless enough not to do anything. We see these ones on the road and take them for animals without conscience. My encounter with this very lady has made me a new person in terms of my relationship with those prostitutes out there.
This change I am talking about is not going to start with the Women Affairs Ministries until we have someone with passion in her. I think the change has to start with us, the masses. The first thing we have to do is to begin to see these ones with the eyes of God. God loves them just as they are and we should do likewise. It is only when you are filled with love for someone that you would be able to step out and make a change.
If you are opportune to hear the stories of some of our Celebrities and powerful women, you will come to agree with me that most of those prostitutes in the brothels are not as bad as you think they are. We should be able to step out and show some love to these one and bring them close to us in all love and empathy because that is the only way to change them. Put yourself in their shoes and feel their pain for some time.
Another lady called me for a meeting some time ago. Unlike me, I stepped out to meet with her in a restaurant on the island. She cried profusely not minding the people around. This beautiful lady lamented over her situation due to divorce. She was abandoned with three children to take care of. She told me she was able to send just #3000(three thousand naira) to her children for three months feeding. She was doing very well in her business, but had to close it down after her divorce because the society never gave her a chance to stand again. She ran to the church where she was asked to buy everything woman wears for the pastor’s wife if she really needs a miracle. Thank God she came to me, and I was able to convince her not to go back to that thief of a pastor. I gave her some money to start a little business and just last week, she sent me a text.
 Why can’t we show some love to our fellow women. Madam, you are in that man’s house spending #50k every weekend just for the movies or a night with the girls. What have you done for a fellow woman who has no place to stand in life? Don’t you know that with just #10k, you can help another woman stand?
 What about those women in prison? Recently, I saw a very beautiful lady who is still in prison, but being taken care of by PFN. According to her, she got in there because there was nobody to plead her case. When such a lady comes out from prison, the next thing the society does is to ostracize her. This is why it is difficult seeing people come out from Nigeria prisons and making it again in life.

You are busy running your mouth against a poor widow or helpless single mother with children to feed. I don't blame you; you are fed and cared for by your husband and so you care less what those poor children go through; you care less about the poor widow stealing and selling her body to feed her children. You are the "Radio without control" of your community and she must be stoned for doing that. How many times have you fed her children?

Ladies, let us start with one another. Look around you and you will definitely find someone, a fellow lady, who needs just a hug and encouraging words from you for her to bounce back. It doesn’t matter what she has done or who she was; please give her a chance to live again. It could be that lady who took away your man and now you are happy for the evil that is upon her. She could have done all sorts and said all kinds of rubbish about you, but my dear, it is time you let go and help her get back to her feet. Like a friend told me yesterday, there is nothing as beautiful as forgiveness. And if you are one of those making comments like "good, God is meting out the right punishment on her", watch it; yours could be by the corner. And who told you that you would be alive if God should visit you according to your sin?

Girls, let us forgive ourselves first because that is the only time we can forgive each other. It doesn’t matter who you were yesterday; what you did ten years ago does not exist in God’s diary now. You were a prostitute; so what? You killed , not just with your mouth, but with the gun. Please forgive yourself and get back on your feet again. Start living once again and then look for someone who does not know how to start again after a long period of separation from the world, talk to her with love and help her come back to life.
 Never forget; the only difference between a sinner and a saint is that the sinner failed and remained on the ground, but the saint failed, picked up lessons from the ground, got up, dusted herself, and then set out for the goal.

Remember the words of Jesus to the woman caught in the act, "Neither have I condemned you, go and sin no more". My sweetheart, if Jesus has not condemned you, why should you let mere mortals who didn't die for you to condemn you? Arise daughter and take your place in destiny! 


  1. Oh...what a wonderful piece. I won't agree less that women are disappointed in women. In as much as we have men who aren't fair to women, but just like you stated earlier, if women are supportive, men will definitely follow suit. I look forward to when our society will learn to judge women less because you can't really claim to know a person 'till you know the person through the person'. We live in a society where people conclude based on assumption.

    I'm really happy you made mention of the ministry of women affairs, to be frank with you, that ministry doesn't empower the people it's meant to empower, it only enriches those opportune to have something to do with the ministry either directly or indirectly. I don't know if this is as a result of citizens not willing to know their right because even if they do know their right, the elites will always find a way to rule it in their favour. Ministry of women affairs really need to look into the affairs of the women in the country and those persecuted abroad, for I don't see a reason why this ministry with the total allocation which is more than 3 billion Naira will have its women suffer for what isn't their fault. All we beg and hope for one day is that we'll have God fearing women of goodwill be in that position where women living abnormal lives will be given a sense of belonging without being criticized by people who don't know what it means to be in pains. God bless our women. Things will surely turn out for good someday.

  2. Am touched by this. I will try my best to put smile on sm1's face today. God bless you Aunty, you've inspired me by this


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