Friday, June 19, 2015

Should I wait for his apology or move on?

Good day Aunty Amara thanks for the good work God is using you to do in the lives of singles and married people. Sorry for sending this through your email i didnt know how to hook up to your facebook page for this.
My story may be lengthy but i will try to make it short. Am a girl of 24 years a graduate of med.
Lab science, college of health technology and in  a relationship with a man of 36 though he will be 37 by october ( he looks younger, i even doubt his age at times ) we started dating precisely late Jan. 2013,
but he approached me december 2012. When he approached me i told him i had a serious relationship of which was true but he said no problem lets just flow with time i will choose for myself but i told him i have already chose the one am with. He promised not to cause any problem, that he wouldn't call me unless i flash him and all that. Along the line the guy i was dating then suspected that someting was wrong he asked but i denied it. In
short we parted then i started dating this new one. The first day he took me to his house he made love to me after much struggle i cried and told him he was only interested in my body but he said no that he wasn't just interested in my body but that he truly wants to be with me.
The first two months was lovvy duvvy, and the third month he started carrying other girls.
I will cry and cry but i had fallen in love with him i still stayed praying and hoping he would change. Then he had a roommate, one year later, he
got his own apartment , i noticed a little change, he doesnt bring girls home but calls, sms, chats and all that when i querrelled, he would ask me if anybody has come here to harass me before? I took in for him
2014 he helped me abort it, he introduced me to his mother, friends , well wishers etc everybody around him knew me and they love me.
I took in for him again in 2015 i insisted on keeping it but he said do i want to keep a child with no father cos he is not ready to father a child ok use condom
na, no he cant use condom on me, I know his type of person he doesn't send love messages at such when he is busy he can so forget you all that i understand, recently i had an appendectomy he couldn't support me with even a kobo, i had rent issues i needed a balance of N15000 he couldn't give me cos he said he had no money but within that same period he bought a new about 32" bed for himself and called me to give me a suprise package,but this was the same man i sacrificed half of my second year school fees to support himself when he got a new job and needed money for transport, feeding etc and
several things i have been doing for him.
Now my current issue is this precisely over one week now we have not been on talking terms reason i
spent weekend in his place on 5th June so i left his place on monday to work, he told me the father will be coming in the evening , so after work i went there and packed my things not because the father was coming but i had already told him i would leave to my house after work on monday, and before then i asked him if the father would like to eat anything he said he will eat at his uncle's place i said ok he accompanied me to the road i boareded a cab and
left, when i got home i remembered that i did not tell him that i carried his wrapper the one i usually use when am there cos it was late i couldn't wash it there so i took it home so i called and told him he said why didnt i tell him when i was leaving, on Wednesday of that week i called him to know how he was faring he was sounding so low so i asked are you alright?
He said yes he wants to rest and that he was not at home he was in his workplace guest house to be assured i said i love you and he replied very low i love you more,
I was not convinced so i called his landlady's child and asked if he was at home and the girl said yes, i called him again and i said where did you say you were?
He repeated am not at home i screamed why were you lying you were at home he cut the call on me, that was in the night so in the morning i called his neighbours girlfriend and
asked if he came home last she said yes that he was with a girl but the girl didn't sleep there.
I said ok he called that morning and i said what was it? Do you want to say good morning to me? Your good morning,one has to check the time before replying so he wanted to say: it seems this relationship,i interuptted and said am tired that he lies a lot he ended the call, till now he has not called me and i have not called him i asked and the neighbour's girlfriend said he misses me that everybody is on him to call me anf apologize, my question is should i wait for him to call me?, should i move on? People around him tells me he loves me and wants to marry me but am not seeing that in him, there is more to
this but space will fail me to write all please help me.

Dear sender,
He encouraged you to abort two children,he slept with you on the first day of your relationship with him and to make him a "perfect husband material" he tell you lies with pride and never helps you even if you were dying.
I do not know what his neighborhood see in him or feel for him but for me? That's no love.
At this stage of your life, you should know specifically what is truly of benefit to you and what is healthy for you.
Who told you his dad came to see him? And how come he was at his company's guest house while his dad was in his house?
Who really was meant to apologize and what exactly is delaying it if he really care about you nor love you?
From your mail, all I could see was a man who is only using you to meet his sexual needs while his girlfriend is being taken care of elsewhere.
My question for you would be,when will you wake up from this nightmare you called relationship?
The early you do,the very best it would be not only for you but also for your children and your family.

1 comment:

  1. its obvious this is not love, so sad you are in love already. Just make sure your relationship with him is defined so you know what you are doing


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