Saturday, June 27, 2015

Suitors are coming my way ;I need your advice!

Good afternoon Ma.My name is B*** and I live and work in Lagos. I live with my parents and siblings here.
Ma I've been an ardent and passionate reader of many of your posts on Facebook.
I have read and really appreciate how you help people sort out their relationship issues hence my sending this message.
I am 27 years old and have been an independent woman for quite some time now.
Presently Ma,I've got men asking for my hands in marriage but I really do not want to make mistakes in my choices.
I have prayed and asked God for his guidance.
I need your advice on this ma.Thanks
Dear sender, 
Marriage is an institution that demands our commitment, love, patience, understanding, wisdom and God's presence to prosper and we need to prayerfully prepare ourselves for marriage to avoid being a casualty of a bad marriage. 
What is marriage to you? This is the first question you need to ask yourself to help you appreciate what to expect when you say I do. 
It is much more than love making. 
It also not a business adventure where you accept a man who is rich, nor is it a beauty pageant where you settle for the tall,  huge and handsome man. 
When you understand what marriage is spiritually, emotionally and psychologically, it would guide you to the next question. 
What do I have to offer to make my marriage work? 
When you set out looking for what you wish to get from others, we often times end up forgetting that they also have a need which made them seek for a partner who would be a help to meet their needs. 
Do you have the right attitude to relating with others, do you listen, learn and love those around you? 
Are you willing to endure, persevere, sacrifice, and go the extra mile to make your marriage work? 
Do you have the skills and handiwork to support your partner in building a resilient home especially when the times may not be as favourable and rosy as it was in the beginning. 
Are you spiritually ready to submit yourself under God's authority in his word and to your husband? 
Are you ready to use your knees and soak your home in God's grace and love? 
Are you spiritually ready to stand by your husband in difficult times and defend him when he is weak? 
Are you emotionally ready to tolerate some set of individuals you wished you wouldn't meet in life when you get married. 
Are you willing to humble yourself and let go of who you are so as to sow the seed of love and hope anywhere you may find yourself. 
When you are convinced that you are ready to meet an imperfect man who yearns for perfect love, then you would look out for the partner who meet your needs. 
A man who is God fearing, not churchyard brother but a man who genuinely loves God and desires the same for you. 
A man who respects you and appreciates your imperfect perfection. 
A man who compliments you in your areas of weakness and supports you in his own way. 
A man who communicates his heart with you and listens to your opinions even when they may not be an awesome one. 
A man who has a vision and not one with money to impress.
A man who is responsible and is emotionally, spiritually and psychologically ready for a relationship and not one who has loose ends with his ex or one who is still breastfeeding fro his mum or family. 
A man who makes you happy and peaceful in all aspects of your life. 
When you meet a man who truly has those attributes, and you two genuinely accept and appreciate each other and you two are willing and emotionally ready to build a home where love reigns, you would be convinced of him. 
Also do not forget you need God to guide your footsteps to avoid making a terrible mess in your choice of partner. 
Oops, I forgot to mention age, education and Outlook, it was because those doesn't guarantee a happy, healthy and a fulfilling Marital journey. 
In the end remember,  marriage is your journey and you are solely responsible and also accountable for the  decisions you take,  not your parents, friends or pastors/prophets. 

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