Sunday, July 19, 2015

A letter to the ladies

Dear sweetheart, 
I know you are doing your best to be your best in all your endeavours.
I am aware that the society judges you harshly and they expect so much more than you can possibly achieve within your limits.
You endure emotional torture, cope with pressure, struggle to be different and compete with the male folk just to avoid being reduced to an object.
You have experienced the good, the not so good, and the ugly, and most times nobody understands your plight.
Even those you trust end up mocking you.
But the beauty of it all is that you are the handmaid of God Almighty and He shall continually reveal the new generation using you.
I decided to write you specifically because of the trend which I have observed lately and which gives me great concern.
I am aware that God made you beautiful flowers from the very beginning.

You are so adorable that angels chose to dwell with you.
I know many suitors have indicated interest in you. They have said a lot about you and they have made many promises to you.
They told you stories that were too good for the movies and you believed them.
He made you to do the things you never thought possible.
You sacrificed so much just to make him happy.
But he had so many excuses and has a list of your flaws.
He kept telling you how you are not the wife he wished to marry and you always wanted to prove him wrong by being a slave.
He maybe the first but it doesn't make him different from the rest.
That he made promises to you shouldn't make you lose your self-esteem.

As a lady, you are a precious flower so cherished by all but valued only by one.
Please always remember this: for the fact that he said a thing or another doesn't make him the one.
That you knew him for decades doesn't mean God approved of him.
Please know when to beat your hands on your chest and move on.
I know it hurts watching the one you love leave you (I've been there) but what hurts more is hanging out with a good man who is irresponsible, not focused, and who plays with your emotions.

What hurts more is that you had many suitors but you are not only single; you are unhappy.
What hurts more is that you are hanging out with a selfish partner while your husband is praying to have you.
What hurts more is that you cannot tell where your relationship is heading to, but you have given much more than anyone else.
What hurts is that the person you thought loves you abuses, manipulates and humiliates you emotionally and spiritually.
Just like you know, while a lady can choose who to love, men are the ones who decide whether it will lead to marriage or misery.
Please help your heart by always being sensitive spiritually. Do not make assumptions nor ignore the negative signals you receive in your relationship.
Do not hope to manage because life is too expensive and short to be managed and endured. God's will is for marriage to be enjoyed.
Know when to shed some tears and move on; know when it's no longer healthy for you to endure the relationship. Refuse to lose yourself while trying to gain someone. 
Please avoid the deadly potholes of ex especially when they pull you in no specific direction or for any specific purpose.
If by six months of a relationship to twelve months, you cannot tell where the relationship is headed, please ask questions and seek help if possible.
Dating him for ten years is not a good experience for a lady because until she knows where the ten years will lead her to, she's like a lady on the streets who have no idea where her home is located.
Do not make assumptions because you are not close enough. Do not reject a man because you feel He's not as you dreamt. Let God give you His perfect and not permissive will.
Be courteous and honest to all. Wear respect and high self-esteem as your garment.
If every lady can offer a man sex, then have it at the back of your mind that sex isn't the greatest gift to offer a man for love.
Equip yourself with Godly virtues and always engage your hands in skills that will generate wealth no matter how little or how much you earn. Discover purpose and live it with every passion in you.
Give yourself the love that you seek and give love to all you meet, because that's the debt you owe. 

Pray and pray and pray; that's where your strength lies.
Shed your time for makeup and seeking pastors and prophets; use it to pray and community with God. Let God know how vulnerable and weak you have become. He is your father and is ever willing to cover your nakedness and carry you on His everlasting arms.
God is not far from you dear.
He so much longs to talk to you and talk with you but you are too busy.
Please do not withhold anything from God because He is the 'I Am', He knew you ever before you were conceived. You see? Nothing strange or a surprise to him.

Until you have given Him the permission to help you, you will always make a mess of your relationships. When His presence is with you, you find grace and favour before Him. When you find favour before God, men can't help falling in love with you, they can't help fighting to conquer your heart.

He made you beautiful because He knew that you will bring favour and fulfilment to a man and many blessings to your home.
I write to you out of deep love and concern.
May God bless you and grant the very desires of your heart. May He cause His loving face to shine upon you. May He give you favour.
Be strong. I love you 


  1. You are a wonderful piece to the African women. May God increase your wisdom. It is a wonderful outpour.

  2. Oooo so true. U just made my day. This article is meant for me.

  3. Just what am passing through....thanks for this

  4. Replies
    1. This writeup means a lot to me..God bless you.

  5. Mmmmmmhh, what a good piece of advice, so insightful and full of wisdom. Of a truth, u just nailed it. God bless you richly ....

  6. Mmmmmmhh, what a good piece of advice, so insightful and full of wisdom. Of a truth, u just nailed it. God bless you richly ....

  7. Thanks , Love you too. May God bless you and guide you.


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