Monday, July 20, 2015

He doesn't want me to train my kids!

Hello mam how are you and family
Please I have a problem that I know you can enlighten me in a good way. 
I have a husband that just did a little introduction and have been promising me today,tomorrow for my wedding.  
I have three children with him already. He's so caring,loving and I appreciate all that he is doing for me and my kids. 
The problem I have is that he doesn't want me to train my kids he said am too harsh on them and it really paining me and also he's someone that do not care how they look but just to satisfy his family but I can say he is dirty sorry if I used that word but anytime I clean my house for me to come back within one hour it will be like dustbin 
When I talk, he would shout at me and anytime he defecate he will never flush it which he knows that I hate such but doesn't care 
please I need your advice mam

Dear sender, 
I know that you definitely love your husband and you desire to give him the very best of you. 
But I'm troubled within my spirit that after three children, he's still promising to pay for your bride prize and complete the requirements to make you his wife traditionally and legally. 
Let me tell you the implications of such. 
He can booth you out with anything and claim your children from you. 
Whatever happens to you in the family, you do not have the right to even fight for the rights of your children talk less that of yours. 
I feel that you should begin from there. 
I mean nobody will ask him to build a house for him to marry you but team up with him and encourage him to do the needful because it's long overdue and it would give you many benefits and prestige as his wife and a woman. 
For him to say that you are harsh, I feel that there may have been circumstances or things that happened which made him to feel that you may intimidate your children. 
But raising children is a joint effort so he cannot successfully take good care of them without your input in their lives. 
Allow him to be their head and offer motherly counsel and support to them. 
In your privacy, you can discuss your concerns with him and then offer suggestions that will be beneficial to the children and for the family too. 
Do not give up because he feels that you may be harsh, you and him share in the same vision and purpose of raising your children to become the very best in all their endeavours and I believe that you shall succeed in that. 
As for his attitude towards cleanliness, oh well, these are the not so good aspect of him that needs your wisdom, maturity and great understanding to overcome. 
No doubt that it's a terrible one but I'm hopeful that someday he'll improve. 
Please always get water in your toilet so that he can easily flush with it, that is if his challenge was that he can't get water to flush the toilet. 
Then let the door be closed always to avoid spreading the perfume in the house. 
Continue to encourage him with calmness of heart that it's better for him to maintain a good hygiene beginning with his boxers to his attitude towards keeping the house clean. 
Be positive and be hopeful that someday he would get better. 
But let's begin from the first thing I addressed, let him do the needful before the year runs out. 
All the best. 

1 comment:

  1. Didn't you date him before living in same house with him.


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