Wednesday, July 29, 2015

His closeness to his ex troubles me!

Good afternoon,please post this for me,please I need your advice. Am engaged to a man Infact he has paid my bride price , our traditional and white wedding to come up by October but I noticed something about him, he still keeps in touch with his ex, she calls him and he also calls her too,recently when I visited him because we stay in different states, I saw his call logs and messages , he also didn't inform her he was getting married , he just told her to get married if a suitor comes for her hand in marriage but he didn't really open up to her that he was getting married , to him he feels he has made it clear to her that he won't marry her.
Sometimes I feel am just a second option like am not his main choice because he doesn't hide anything from me.
He told me that before he proposed to me, he took our names that's I and his ex to some pastors and they keep mentioning my name and told him not to marry his ex that the marriage won't work, he also said he insisted and asked the pastors if anything could be done that he really wanted to marry her but they refused and asked him to carry on with me, he treats me well, he's a fantastic man but my only problem is his closeness to his ex. Although he keeps promising me that it's just the communications and nothing more, that he can't just ignore her like that.
I've known him for like two years though just as a friend, we officially started dating last year when he had issues with his so called ex,I feel like quitting the planned marriage, I don't want to end up in a marriage with him and his heart still beats for his ex. Am confused.

Dear sender,
One thing is certain, you are the main bride at least he has paid your dowry so do not feel like you're his second option to him.
What I am having some issues with is his closeness to his ex. It may look harmless today but I hope that after wedding, he would be faithful to you and not share your bed with his ex.
This would be where you may need to sit him down and talk with him.
He appears as a nice man who doesn't want to hurt his ex by being rude and harsh to her but then again it is inappropriate for him to constantly communicate with her and then express the body language of a man who cares yet hurting those around him.
Let him know that marriage isn't a journey of a nice man but that of a responsible man who is honest and disciplined.
He should learn to respect your emotions and not make you feel inferior to him.
I wish you wrote before the bride prize was paid but you can still salvage a bit of his niceness attitude to avoid having to always peep into his phone for clues.
Maybe I should suggest, if possible please avoid his handset not because you don't have a right to but because you have a greater territory than that covered by his handset.
Thread with wisdom and caution, I'm certain that he's out for you but just trying to break up in a nice way.
All the best.

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