Wednesday, July 15, 2015

How can I break the oath?

Hello AVL fans,I got married November 2013. We did traditional and white wedding. Since we got married we have been TTC (Trying To Conceive).
We have sought help from two doctors and my husband's sperm count was low while I had PID. 
We were treated and my husband was given some drugs to boost his sperm but still nothing.
He refused to see the doctor for another appointments saying he was ok that we should not discuss anything related to the matter again. 
So I left him and trusting God for a miracle. May this year my husband came back from work one night that he went to one church they told him am the cause of his downfall.
He said since he married me he has not been progressing that he can't continue living in bondage.
He said they told him my mum initiated me to a marine spirit and is affecting his progress.
I was surprised at his accusations and I told him people were misleading him that he should not fall for it. 
I told him to say what is in his mind and he should stop accussing me and my mum. 
The next day he drove me out of his house and sent all my loads to my parent's house.
He told them he doesn't want to see me near his house or else he will call police for me. He told my parents am a badluck to him and he has never progressed since he married me.
My parents were surprised at his behaviour and they were angry at him. My junior brother called him and was insulting him on phone for his actions,he insulted my brother back. 
The next day he brought some policemen to my parents house to arrest my brother,lying that my brother came to his house with some people at midnight to rob him.
We bailed my brother that very day. My parents told him that since he was no longer marrying me he should come and remove the oat he placed on my head cos he insisted I take an oat during our traditional marriage that no man will sleep with me except him.
Now that am not living with him any more am not free cos am under his bondage and I can't remarry in future if he didn't remove it .
He told my parents he must collect N150k for the money he spent on me and my parents collected N35k from him as the bride price.
He has refused to schedule a meeting with us to tell us the outcome of the N150. 
AVL fans please advice me because am not myself. 
I don't know what I did wrong to deserve these treatments from him.

Dear sender,
I can only imagine the bondage you placed on your life in the name of marriage.
However I know that there is nothing beyond God's grace and there is nothing too hard for him to do.
You are still legally married to him until you have legally divorced him.
Before that, I would suggest that you seek counsel from the elders who stood by your side on the wedding day so that they will invite him for some discussions.
If he doesn't honour the invitation nor come to discuss with your parents/family, you would have to resort to using the legal option to compel him to come for some heart to heart discussion.
The purpose of the discussion would be to know if he was still interested in the marriage and the terms and conditions of such interest and should he not be interested, to fashion out ways/terms for the dissolution of the marriage.
When a man begins to accuse his wife of being the bad luck, demon and the devil behind his success as a man, it's an indication that there is another lady waiting at the door or that his parents are manipulating him to do all he's doing.
It's time for you to face the reality of your journey.
For now please do not engage into anything that will make you go against the oath you took with him until the dissolution is complete.
You need to put that as your terms and conditions for the dissolution of your marriage.

Once that is done you would re dedicate your life to God not a pastor or priest and you need no extra ordinary laying of hands for that.
Just a simple prayer will do.
For now, do well to explore avenues to get him to come so that you and him can discuss this as adults.
You don't need to feel bad or terrible, it's far more better to be happily single than to be in a miserable marriage.
Commit your heart to God and trust Him for the grace and favour you need to live for him all the days that you live.
All the best.

1 comment:

  1. Sis how can u do this to ur self all in the name of marriage u took oath for him what stopped u from asking him to do same now in front of everyone so that two of u will be in the bondage not alone u cuz had it been he is involve in it he will easily come for breaking of oath but dis one he want to wicked and punish u.

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