Sunday, July 19, 2015

I don't know why I don't love him!

I met a guy last year May., we started dating and really loved and cared for each other after a while we decided to let our families know about us. 
He didn't openly say anything about marriage but he kept sending me baby pictures of how our kids will look like. 
In July I had to travel to Kenya to help my cousin, he asked me not to go but I had to go and help my cousin. He later agreed. Before then he tells me wherever he goes , what ever he does. Everything was just perfect until the day his childhood friend (girl) uploaded a pix of them. 
I wasn't comfortable with their positions. I tried to ask him about the picture. He said nothing was going on between them. But I still made a mistake of asking the girl if they were dating,  he became angry and called off the relationship that I don't trust him, I don't listen to him. 
I apologized and tried to make him understand the relationship was still too early to have gained trust, that with time we would learn to trust each other, but he refused I was badly hurt cos I so much loved him. 
So months later he started dating that same girl and that hurts more. I met another great guy he has all the qualities I have ever prayed for in a guy. 
He even proposed to me. But I don't love him, I don't feel anything for him my mind keeps going to my ex. I don't know why I can't love this new guy. I keep trying but I don't feel anything.  
Please was it because I still love my ex or is just that he isn't the right guy yet. 

Dear sender, 
Let me help you understand the dangers of living in the past. 
You will never find happiness in the past. 
You will never see anything good in the present and future as long as you dwell in the past. 
You will not only lose precious treasures of today but you will also lose the very essence of living by looking backwards. 
Lot's wife became a bag of salt simply because she chose to dwell with her past. 
From the little you said of your relationship between you and your ex. 
He told you many lies and deceived you. 
He kept you in the dark about his feelings for the other lady and went ahead to defend his attitude by making you feel inferior and wrong all because you asked for clarification. 
He ended the relationship and went ahead to date the other lady and you know so well that he has moved on with no regrets. 
My question to you is, if after waiting for your ex and hoping he returns back to you, he ends up marrying another lady, what would be your happiness and encouragement in waiting for him? 
The reason why you do not see anything good in this new person nor feel anything for him is because you are yet to bid your ex goodbye.
The earlier you realise that your Ex's part of the story in your life is done and dusted, the better you will enjoy the present partner. 
I must add, do not inflict pains and frustration into your partner by comparing or expecting your ex in him. 
If you are not emotionally ready for a relationship now, let him know so that he will decide whether to wait or consider another person. 
Not every relationship are meant to end in marriage and it is wisdom to know when to move on, and accept the decisions of others with respect to what their desire and vision is in life. 
All the best. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)