Monday, July 20, 2015

She has low self esteem

Remember the Lady who wrote in that she can't love her present partner as a result of her feeling for her Ex?  (Click Here)

Her Ex Sent this to me! 
My own side of the story; We’ve known each other for many years because we attended the same university. We started dating last year may. Things started out on a very good note between us. I loved her dearly and she knows that. I believed she loved me too. Getting to know each other was fun . I was 100% committed to her and she knew that too. She tried to influence and change me in some many ways, which I didn’t have issues with. But however, she has trust issues. Let me give an example: One night, I couldn’t pick her call cos I fell asleep while chatting with her. She called severally and I didn’t pick. The next day it took forever to convince her that I didn’t go out late the previous night. I understood that her trust issues had to do with her past, I did all I could to change her mind-set but all to no avail. We never talked about marriage neither did I have sex with her.
When she travelled to Kenya, everything changed between us. I was in constant communication with her but she was suspicious of my every movement and got upset at every little interval. Hanging out with friends or going shopping became an issue, all in the name that I might be cheating on her. I practically distanced myself from all my female friends because of her insecurity. I did all these things cos I was willing to make things work between us. But instead of things improving, it got worse. She doesn’t listen to me, or care about my feelings. It was always about her. She saw an innocent picture of my best friend and I on instagram with a clear caption and decided to make a big deal out of it. She didn’t believe anything I said. I got mad at her when she went ahead to ask my best friend whether we are dating and I couldn’t take it when I found out that it was her cousin that advised her to make the move (over the 3 months we dated, she prefers to take outsiders opinion to mine). At that point I lost interest in the relationship because of her insecurity and low self esteem. It was obvious things weren’t working out, so I had to take a walk. All these happened between the months of August and September last year. After the break up, we both moved on. I actually dated someone before I started dating my best friend in March. She told me she has started dating and I was happy that she has moved on and she was aware of my new relationship which she wished me well and also wished my bae well via her facebook inbox. But still, she goes ahead to inbox my mum on facebook about our breakup and that she wants me back. Who does that??? 
Please, advise her to work on her esteem, to stop being insecured and not to carry baggages from previous relationships into her present life. These are her main problems and God in heaven knows that I tried so much to help her work on those issues. I’ve moved on and I’m happy with my new relationship. Advise her to do the same. Thank you.

Dear sender, 
I know that it must have been a difficult decision for you and from your mail I can only say that you must have been fair and honest with her. 
I respect your decision to be happy and I believe God that she would grow in wisdom and emotional maturity. 
Thank you for your kindness and maturity in managing her shortcomings. 
All the best in your relationship. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)