Sunday, August 2, 2015

Do I back off and look elsewhere?

God bless you Mrs AVL.
I've been a regular observer in this group though i contribute but not often. I've got some worries that I need matured advise.
I met a girl way back like seven years ago. We started dating she was somewhat tender then in her SSS 3.
I arranged for her university admission but didn't take care of her fees but partially I did the ones I could.
She is a graduate now and waiting for service. I was duped of some huge sum way back,  which really affected me financially.
Now I am getting back on my feet, I work as a civil servant (Federal) and do some little business that fetches me reasonable sum to an extent.
Am managing to get back on my feet but not lacking essential amenities. I had all it takes to double date but my love and respect for her was paramount.
I have been faithful till date. We had issues about her double dating but that was resolved to cut the story short.
Three months back i paid her bride price, due to her church ethics and my faith she had to stay in her parents house till we embark on traditional and church wedding. Am planning to complete everything very soon.
This is were am facing a problem , she never admits to her wrong acts recently and always feel reluctant about serious issues, always having her way of justifying a wrong act.
The most recent.... She wouldn't pick her calls, when I complain she sees no problem in it. I have used negative re-enforcement on her by not picking up her own calls and even invited her home to talk it off, telling her how bad it felt when she doesn't take her calls and what it could result in future . She still do that till date, disrespect me.
All these are raising fear of future within me.
Do I back off and look elsewhere or is there a solution I can use to stable her wrong acts?
I love her and she does too because way back she refused a Car offer from a guy that came back from London and refused his proposal for marriage.
Is that not a confirmation of love?

Dear sender, 
Though you didn't state her age but she maybe experiencing mixed feelings with respect to the fact that she's already married to you. 
And it seemed as though the pampering, loving, tolerating, considerate and the understanding part of you varnished for the authoritative, commanding and compelling husband who must have it all his way. 
It seemed as though you have been demanding so much attention that she's scared of marriage totally. It maybe a bit and she maybe be reacting in that manner because of your attitude, or her challenges or her fears or the opinions of her friends. 
I would rather suggest that you ignore her attitude lately and continue to celebrate and pamper her as your bride that she is. 
Celebrate her much more, compliment her and if it's possible and within your means, do not invite her but take her out and buy her some simply gifts with lots of love and care. 
Pamper her and reassure her of your support and appreciation of her personality. 
Forget about all her recent attitudes and let go of your pains towards her. 
Give her some time to get used to the MRS identity. Not every lady feel all excited about it.. Lol 
Some do feel shy while others have mixed considering some not so good stories they might have heard about marriage. 
Please do have it in mind that a lady may be acting based on her mood swings so do not take her serious when she doesn't treat you as you so much desire and please do assure God of your faithfulness, commitment and devotion to your wife and marriage. 
Brother you are already married so there is no need to look elsewhere. 
Please do look in her direction and do well to welcome her home so that you can enjoy your life and your lovely wife. 
All the best dear. 

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