Sunday, August 23, 2015

Ejaculation: Problems and Solutions

From the numerous comments and questions I receive daily from both men and women on this issue, I can authoritatively say that many are dying in silence. Doctors will even tell you that a good number of their patients hide their true problems from them. 

Okay; we all know what ejaculation is; how many are without ejaculation issues?

You find out that marriages and relationships are in hell, even in our worship centres, and everyone wants to shy away from discussing the real issues behind those problems thereby making couples to live in pretence all in the name of ‘it is well’. Deliverance is not just about prayer and fasting; the Bible says that the truth we know shall set us free. Most of the problems you believe are spiritual can be easily solved in the natural. God has given us so much to naturally take care of ourselves. Am I trying to underestimate the power of prayer? I would be a fool to do that, but so many of the problems we experience in our body and life would be taken care of with the right knowledge, obedience to nature, and discipline.

Pastor Femi Paul of Grace Assembly once said to Pastors, “In the building of your church, making provision for the disabled who cannot see or walk doesn’t make you a man or woman without faith”. This is a clarion call to religious leaders to stop being overly religious and accept the fact that we still live in a physical world. Develop yourself to the level where you begin to invite, not just preachers, but resource persons to your church for the sake of your congregation. Educate the youths as well as the married to stop them from seeking information from wrong sources. But for this article, you can decide to close your eyes now.

There are three major ejaculation problems in men
Premature Ejaculation
Delayed Ejaculation
Retrograde Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation
A good number of men go through this problem. There are men who ejaculate just few minutes into sex while there is another group that have the most painful problem of ejaculating even before penetration. I regularly receive mails from guys and all I see is that they are extremely worried about it. Women have left their husbands as a result of this. Many women who wouldn't think of cheating on their spouse now do because they can no longer cope with the emotional torture of premature ejaculation.

 Newly married couples who decided to abstain from sex until marriage sometimes get devastated to know that this problem is there. Many have been accused by religious folks of having spiritual wife just because of this very problem. Premature ejaculation makes a man feel inadequate and incapable of satisfying his partner. Even though women get bothered by this, men who go through this are overly troubled. 


Frequent Sex
I don’t know how true this is, but I hear men say that when you engage in sex frequently, it reduces the intensity and speed of your orgasm/ejaculation. But I also think this is possible when you keep just one relationship. For you to engage in frequent sex without your wife complaining of headache today, waist pain tomorrow, you must do all you can to keep her happy and close to you at all times. Make her your friend to enable her go through this with you. 

Self Control
Some men cannot control themselves when they come in contact with anything in skirt. How could you think of solving the problem of premature ejaculation when you jump from one woman to the other-house helps and secretaries included? The three minute excitement of having a different woman each time in bed won’t let you ejaculate at the right time as you find yourself leaking even before penetration.

Another way to treat premature ejaculation is total distraction. This is something difficult if you lack the power of imagination. In masturbation, you think of something positive and beautiful, but in this case, you must fix your mind on something negative, sad, ugly and disgusting. While this is acceptable, thought should be given on the negative effects this has on a relationship. This approach, if not well handled, will distance a man from his wife and their sex life.

This can only work where there is self control. A woman appreciates this method better as she can sometimes scream for you to go back into her. It is a safer way to handle premature ejaculation as it keeps your self-esteem. A woman may see it as part of your effort to heighten her sexual experience. Pull out the penis once you sense that feeling to ejaculate, continue with caressing and body contact, go back after some minutes, and pull out at intervals until both partners feel satisfied. You can also squeeze the head of the penis immediately you feel the urge to climax.

Anti-Depressant Drugs 
Try taking anti depressant drugs four to six hours before intercourse. You can also use desensitizing creams or simply double up your condoms if your wife tolerates that.

Delayed Ejaculation
This is the most poorly understood ejaculation problem in men. This is what leads to a woman avoiding sex as the man leaves her feeling drained after sex. A man with the problem of delayed ejaculation can stay on a woman for ninety minutes without feeling anything. It is caused by some of these factors

Anti-depressant drugs
When you are on anti depressant drugs, your sexual life is mostly affected. Talk to your doctor on the right approach to this. I advise you avoid taking those drugs close to bedtime or before sex for you to be able to satisfy your wife.

As we grow older, we become less sensitive to touch. This is what happens to men as their nerve endings in the penis become less sensitive. Another thing that happens with age is that there is a decrease in your ability to have an erection and this leads to delayed ejaculation as it is difficult ejaculating without a full erection. This can really be frustrating for a woman who is too attached to you and wants a feel of you in her. This said, some men lived well and took care of themselves as young people and so even at old age, they are good to go.

 When you find yourself addicted to masturbation, there is little or nothing the opposite sex can do to satisfy you in bed. This is because your body becomes used to a particular way of touch and pressure. If you are/were into this and now have the problem of delayed ejaculation, please guide your partner through your body for a better sex life.

Psychological reasons
You are scared to lose control; you feel you are not a good lover; you are distracted; you are stressed; you feel your penis is too small; you are unhappy; you just feel sex isn’t necessary. If this is your problem, just do the opposite and you shall be fine. If he size of your penis bothers you, hear this: sexual fulfillment, more often than not, has nothing to do with size; it's more about your skill. 

Retrograde Ejaculation
This does not interfere with orgasm. A man who suffers from this can still experience full and strong orgasm, but without ejaculation. This is not a problem to be bothered about except in cases where the couple wants pregnancy. What happens here is that instead of the semen flowing out through the penis during orgasm, it is forced back into the bladder and passed out as urine. If you are one of such men who complain of cloudy urine after sex, then talk to your doctor about this. It is not a problem if you have nothing to lose. It also has the advantage of easy post-sex cleaning. It does not interfere with orgasm.
Retrograde ejaculation is cause by diabetes, various medications, surgery, and nerve damage.

Home Remedies
Grind some amount of nutmeg and ginger into natural juices or your cereal
Eat lots of natural aphrodisiacs-cucumber, tomatoes, onions, chilli, ginseng, cumin, cabbage, and dark chocolates.
Exercise regularly
Total abstinence or reduction of alcohol intake would help
Avoid smoking

I will not end this article without letting you know there is power in prayer. God created you and He is more than able to fix your body system. Also learn to talk to your wife about issues bothering you and together, in all sincerity, you both should visit your doctor. When your wife complains about your inability to satisfy her sexually, please don’t crucify and tag her a ‘whore’; she complains because she loves you and wouldn’t want to be unfaithful to you

1 comment:

  1. This article is special. Premature ejaculation can be overcome by exercises more than by other means. However, many men with this condition shy away from exercise. Except where a woman requires the sperm for procreation, a man can actually step up the rave after ejaculating until the lady is satiated. But something has to give for all that stamina.


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