Monday, August 17, 2015

How Do I Move On?

Good day ma, am Uche from Imo state, chatting from lagos. Am 27.
Am a singer (artiste) though still working very hard to hit it big in the entertainment industry. 
I was in a relationship with a girl for close to two years before we broke up. It's almost a year now since we broke up yet I find it very difficult to take my mind off her even though she asked me never to call her again. 
My mother was the cause of our break-up. Sometime last year, precisely June, my mum visited me at my place here in Lagos from Ondo state where she was based. 
When she came around, I called my girl to come and meet my mum. She came and I introduced her to my mum. 
Left both of them together for sometime after which mum told me she was ok. 
She was 24 years of age. I loved her with everything in me even up till date. I was hoping and wishing for a brighter future for us.
Aside my music, I work in a company so as to surport and push my career since I have got no sponsor or label yet. 
Back to the main issue,Mum spent not less than a week and left. Around July/August of that same last year, my girl travelled for her aunt's burial. 
I was at home one Saturday relaxing after returing home from work. She called me to tell me that someone called her and asked her to leave me alone or else they would carry her dead body and that the voice she heard was my kid sister's and I was taken aback seriously after I heard that. 
I told her not to worry that am going to find out who exactly did that. I requested for the number that called her,called the line several times without being picked up. 
After some minutes she called again telling me that the same number called her again and this time it was my mum that spoke to her, asking her to leave her son alone or else and I was like "are you serious of what you just told me"? She said yes. 
I called my mum to inquire from her, but to my greatest surprise my mum shut me up telling me to go and look for someone else that she doesn't want both of us together and I was like why mum? 
Why didn't you call me and tell me, what was the problem before calling her? That relationship was my best and happiest relationship ever. 
I became angry with my mum. I called my girl to appologize to her on behalf of my mum and sister but she told me she can't continue again since it was my mum that was involved. I tried to convince her that nobody could or would choose for me but she said no that I should just go and follow my mum's opinion and look for another girl. 
At that moment, my brain knocked down,my world crashed down as well. Up till now am not happy with my mum for breaking us apart. 
My dad wasn't happy with her too for what she did but he asked me to forgive her that no matter what she is still my mum. 
I have though but am not happy with her. I have tried all my effort to bring her back to me but all to no avail, I mean my girl. 
After that incident, the next time we saw each other was December last year, I went to her place,she welcomed me but she told me we can't be together again that she has a new guy now and that she would have accepted me back if I had come with a ride (car) that her new guy was financially okay,  that she can't come back to me. 
She told me that if I really wish to have her back that I should leave my dream career which is music and go into business since the music is not paying me for now, that was where I became angry with her and left her place that night because I can't just imagine quitting from my best source of joy and happiness (music) after investing so much in it. 
I have two videos which am currently promoting. No matter what I still find it difficult to forget about her because I love her so very much and at the same time I love my career so much. 
Please ma what can I do to forget about her because the last time I called her she that was two weeks ago, she asked me to stop calling her?

Every relationship is a dream with great expectations, aspirations and promises. 
You wish to get married to her, long to bond and connect with your partner but sometimes circumstances may not be favourable enough to strengthen the bond and preserve the promises. 
Our friends, families, relatives and our choices in life have greater role to play in determining who we eventually end up with and what becomes of our vision. 
We may either choose to blame others or may decide to accept the responsibilities for the outcome of the relationship. 
Moving on is never easy especially when you have given your all to make it work but understanding when not to hold unto the past remains the only way for you to regain the passion and courage to give love another chance and invest in your future. 
You loved your partner so much but you needed to understand that your partner does not belong in your future the moment she entered a relationship with another man. 
You may plead and beg that she understands how much you cherished her but her leaving you was an indication that she couldn't wait for you nor stand by you in those times when you were doing everything possible to protect her from emotional abuse and torture. 
When a partner compares you to another, no matter the genuinety of her intentions, it's a negative feedback that she doesn't belong to you and may never be part of your future. 
Every individuals have a specific calling and purpose in life, comparison no matter how compassionate only reduces the integrity, vision and personality of another person and most times it leads to competition. 
The moment your partner suggested that you leave your passion and vision for music for business which will bring fast money, it was obvious that she doesn't want to help you, support you, encourage you and motivate you to greatness. 
If the lady who was meant to help you in any way possible to invest in your vision for music turned around to discourage you and kill your passion, it's no longer safe for you to hope that she may return back to you. 
I'm certain that you have learnt a lot of lessons from this experience and I hope that you would learn more how best to manage third parties in a relationship and avoid the embarrassments, and abuses your relatives may shower on your partner for reasons best known to them. 
Please do find a place in your heart to forgive your mother, not even because she's your mum but because you failed to protect your partner from such a humiliating call. 
I pray that such doesn't repeat itself again. 
For now, moving on is your only option and I believe that God will give you a partner who would support and encourage you never to give up on your source of inspiration and passion in life. 
If you were in his shoes, what do you feel he should do? 
Please do share your thoughts and experiences with me. 
Thank you. 

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